Relapse - A story by Darky [chapter 1]

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Inasuma, Feb 16, 2007.

  1. Inasuma "pumpkin"

    Sep 25, 2006
    Indigo Plateau
    Story by Darky

    Chapter 1

    It was 5:59 AM in the city of Tampa Bay. A time when the city-folk started to get up and get ready for work. Time was of the essence for this city, for this city was quite busy and rush-hour started earlier than in most places. Business men rushed out of their homes and to their offices for another day at work.
    When 6 A.M. hit, the alarms on peoples clocks went off for most kids, to get up and get ready for school. Jared, a 15 year old in the city, woke up to this every morning, for the past 4 years. He hated the fact that his schools started so early, and at often times he’d fake sick just to stay home to sleep. But of course, like every other teen-ager, he stayed up late at friends houses every night.
    “Gah…it’s Friday,” he said breathlessly. He stood up and smacked his alarm clock so it would shut off. He put in some music to listen to while he was getting ready.
    “John! GET UP!” he yelled into his brothers room. He, like Jared, also was lazy and almost never got up. He had received tickets for truancy all his life in his high school career.
    “Yes, Jared?” John asked, just waking up, barely conscience.
    “I said get up! School!!” Jared yelled again.

    About 30 minutes later, they walked out of their garage into the freezing cold night of the early morning. For every day he walked this near-block-distance, all he did was think like he was about to die. Millions of thoughts constantly hit him and it kept him distant from the extremity of the cold.
    “So, Jared, what’s up?” John asked. He smiled stupidly.
    “Stuff,” Jared said trying to make a short answer, hoping to make sure he quit talking to him. John did this every morning, crashing stupid and annoying questions or comments in the most annoying voice ever. Thing was, it was so routine it wasn't even much of a problem with him anymore. Jared just didn't like talking.

    They reached the bus stop and waited. Usually there was over 20 people to get on this bus, and they always waited for more than 10 minutes. Sometimes the kids there wondered why they even left so damn early, when it was clear that they could cut the time perfectly to their liking for arriving at the bus stop.

    After about 15 or so minutes, the bus came. All the students stepped on, some tripping from being so tired, and because it was already very dark outside.
    “Hey Andy,” Jared said with no energy whatsoever.
    “Jared,” Andy paused slightly, “I’m going to sleep this morning on the bus.” Jared nodded to him because it really wasn’t a huge matter. Everyone slept on the bus, no one ever talked, because of the time.

    Every day they got up at about 6, got to the bus at about 6:30, then got on the bus at about 6:45. The bus ride was very long, and was excellent time to take advantage of to do things when it was so early.

    Later on in the day, Jared came home, through his garage door like he always does. He threw his back pack against the laundry machine, and walked to his room.

    Okay…what to do today, he thought, looking right at the phone. He got up and dialed the number for his friend Andy. He stopped before hitting the talk button and thought for a second.
    “Why the hell am I calling? I can just go,” he said as though he felt brain dead.

    He grabbed his bike and went down the slopped drive-way in front of his house. He rode down the also slopping hill of Little Wood Drive, the street where he lived for so many years. He came to the intersection at the end of the road and waited for a car to go by, the men in the car yelled at him a rather grotesque remark.
    “**** YOU!” they yelled, passing by at a very fast speed.
    What the hell, he said to himself. He hit the bike handle with his hands as hard as he could, clenching his fist to all his might, yelling “WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INSIST ON DOING THIS TO ME!”

    He then looked up again, only this time, the same exact car came passing by him. The same men, the same driver, and only this time the speed of the car was slower, and the people inside of it didn’t say a word to him.

    Wait, he said with a shocked look on his face, didn’t that just happen? That was exactly how I wanted it to happen, he again told himself. What the **** is wrong with me, he said to himself once more. He looked down to his hands and saw a small, half-made star-shape on his hands. He looked to his left, then to his right, spotting a little girl beside him.

    “Oh, hello little girl,” he said looking at her hazel eyes. He looked at her pocket and saw a crimson colored sharpie.
    “Hey there,” she replied with a large grin, then skipping away.
    “WAIT!” he yelled. But it was too late, she had already gone quite some ways down the street.

    He looked at the star again, in the same shade of red, with lines coming out of the stars. He looked back down the street, and the little girl had vanished out of sight, as though she never even existed.


    Well, I've been working on this for about 5 or 6 hours. Spell checked it twice, and proof read...though I doubt I got every mistake.

    Tell me what you guys think. :)
  2. Ratchet Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong!

    Oct 14, 2006
    I really enjoyed it. Great writing! Can't wait for the next chapter.
  3. Cin Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp

    Sep 26, 2006
    5-6 hours? More like a half hour...XD

    It has potential, i think you should work a bit more on the ending...^^
  4. Angel Twilight Town Denizen

    Dec 26, 2006
    Having sexytimez with my boyfriend at our house
    it was great. and i picked up about ten mistakes lol XD.
    keep writing xx
  5. Inasuma "pumpkin"

    Sep 25, 2006
    Indigo Plateau
    Thanks guys for the relatively positive comments. ^-^

    Chap. 2 will be up sometime this weekend. :)