Repeatedly in Conflict

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Jin, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. Jin うごかないで

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Gender:
    Heck
    Location:
    ?
    290
    Lately, well actually not lately for a while now. There's been a lot of built up tension between me and my mom and I can't explain why at times now this isn't something that'll come as a easy thing to convey to others but I've needed to get this out of my system now.

    Before I hit year 10 (where we start studying for GCSE's) I always used to be obedient to my mom, not that my moms is bad in anyways. I'll be honest I have one of the most caring and considerate moms ever because she's never been able to say no to something I want and has never deprived me of anything at all. She's always been there for me.

    Now this has been on minor scales before during year 10 & 11 but recently I've sort of been outbursting and talking back to my mother whenever she says I've done something wrong or I'm wrong or I can't do a certain thing, I don't know why but I can't help it but talk back I only see it as trying to say that she's not right with her statement not to disrespect her or anything but I've been doing it too much now and it's come to the point it becomes a complete argument we always forget about it in the end because I always end up saying sorry but it would be better if we didn't end up arguing in the first place.

    Is there anything I can do or keep in mind for when this situation comes up? or anything else you can suggest for me to do.
     
  2. Patman Bof

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    France
    672
    I' d wager this is just you becoming a teenager ? Arguing for the sake of it over anything and everything is like their job description. Goes with the hormone bomb thingy.

    It will pass. The hormones I mean, not the fact that you' re becoming territorial. Hopefully you' ll learn which battles to pick and how to wage them calmly.
     
  3. Amaury Legendary Hero

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ellensburg, WA
    1,692
    He's 16, so not really.

    Anyway, this is perfectly normal, and I wouldn't worry about it too much unless it gets into violent territory.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2014
  4. Jin うごかないで

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Gender:
    Heck
    Location:
    ?
    290
    Sometimes it can, but that's on her side. Overreacting then sometimes throwing things but that might be like at that certain time of the month or something I don't know sometimes it's bad but for the most part it ends with us just shouting at each other and then walking away until the next day. But you say thats normal right?
     
  5. Llave Superless Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2010
    Gender:
    Tired Dad
    4,107
    I never really went through the whole rebel and argue situation until I graduated from High School. Mind you, my scenarios are more based on personal freedoms of being an adult and why I was being denied those rights, but that's besides the point.

    Your mother is, as you said, very kind and considerate towards you correct? Something I learned through my very dark time in life, is to catch your mom on a good time, and tell her you just want to talk but to do it in a calm manner. Tell her that, if you want to vent, to have her let you do so, without snapping back, and visa-versa. It's hard, like REALLY HARD, but I think something like that can be a first step in the right direction.
     
  6. Jin うごかないで

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2010
    Gender:
    Heck
    Location:
    ?
    290
    Thanks for the input, I'll try to do this in future hopefully it'll ease tension between us, that is another thing though. I never did vent to my mom about anything really even though in the past she's always told me to if anything is on my mind maybe the stress of college also factors into why our arguments can become so explosive.
     
  7. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In your breadbin
    2,762
    Yeah, I think stress (because the stress of GCSE's when you start is quite a shock and will continue I have to say) combined with teenage hormones is always a bad combination and can just lead to outbursts. We like to prove that we are right to show that we are different from our parents- I'm not particularly rebellious and only really had an emo phase, I showed my separation from my parents by immediately disliking things they like. For example, my mum loves this one 80's band Ultravox and I have grown up listening to their music and it's good, I don't mind it except for the fact that it just feels like I have to hate them and it's fun to bash them. Anyway, it is a phase, it will pass for for the time being I think Llave's suggestion is quite an interesting one to try and could help. But I think this is more of a chemical problem than an emotional one i.e. it's hormones that are shortening your temper immensely as opposed to anything else, seriously, my hormones mess me right up and make me so angry and emotional.