running away

it has gone the wrong way realy fast. mom is not wanting to help for help. now it is just all her and how she is so sad and all this but she won't let me talk to her about it. uh it is getting bad now she is just like exploded! she is sceaming depression like things. help please fast, anyone.

 

As Kitty said earlier, go to a friend's house and ask to stay there until things clear up if it's getting dangerous to stay at home.

 

understood. i'm not supposed to leave the house. but i might just do that soon. really soon.

 

Did you give her the note? Or just try talking to her? Either way, she seems to be very anxious and needs to calm down. If you do have to head out to a friend's do that, but you might also want to tell her that you are there for her when she wants you to be. She seems like she's going through a lot. I take it by what you said, you don't know exactly what is her problem. Stand strong though and keep us informed if you can.

 

well i left but i had no where to go. i'm stopped at mcDonalds and typed this on my psp with free internet. i got a friend on e-mail to let me stay over. mom doesn't know their number witch bothered me. and the friend doesn't know anything about the conflict. i will call her tomorrow and tell her what u said. they do have internet though. i tried talking but i failed so i pulled the note out and asked her to please read it and then we can talk. then it went well bad.

 

There are many sulotions to your problem.

OPTION #1:
Many times when hard times roll around people have really bad stress and anxiety. In this option I recommend a psychiatrist. Someone who can help with your mom's problems. Trust me not all of them treat people like a project.

OPTION #2
You can let your mom run out of steam and then talk to her. Just let her yell and scream and get it all out while you discreetly listen to your PSP or something. (or buy some really good earplugs). Once she's done she'll be too exausted to stop you from talking to her.

OPTION #3
You can apply for a talk show (not Dr. Phil at least if you don't want to be humiliated) where you and your mom can talk this over. It's on TV so she'll have to listen to the professional specialist.

OPTION #4
You could tell someone what's going on at home and have them help you. Someone at school that you trust. A teacher a guidance counselor (well when we get back to school). Or tell one of your friends what's going on. Maybe they and their parents can help your situation.

I know this is really tough for you but you still don't want to run away. Be strong and remember that there will be plenty of members who are willing to help you here. (if they don't they will be ridiculed to no end)

Also I really do think you should tell a trusted adult. Sometimes your friends won't know how to respond and give you the wrong advice. Easier said then done but it'll be off of your chest.

 

1. ya but it will be a while, if ever to convince her to go to one.
2. i am sure ignoring her will not just have her stand in one place and scream, it will go worse at this point
3. well 3 actually made me smile!
4. is the option i will have to end up doing, when i start doing something.
till now i'm tired i have to go sorry. when i wake in the night i might get back on.

EDIT: it has been 15 hours sense i left. what should i say in my call other than i'm there for u? i don't wanna mess things up more.

 

I hope now you are at your friend's house. I'd go somewhere and call her that isn't at your friend's house so that she doesn't find out where you are unless you want her to know. Some numbers leave call back numbers so if their number is public that may not be a good thing. Find a public phone if you can, probably at McDonalds if that is close.

Then call her and tell her that you love her but she needs to read the note and understand you. You can also say you just want to understand her and why everything is so hard right now and that you want to have a family that loves and works together. Tell her you'll come home once she is willing to talk to you and that you both need each other but not like this. You want some solutions because living in this way is really tearing you and her apart.

See if that helps at all and keep me posted. Also, be careful out there. If she finds out where you are staying she may call the cops and the friend's parents could get in trouble for holding you there. You may want to go home tomorrow and just try to face her and say that you want to work things out but it's up to her to do. Also, if you do talk to her, I'd suggest you say that either she and you go to family counseling to work things out or that she sits down with you and talks to you and you talk to her so you can try to work things out but you don't feel you want to go home until you have some kind of validation in that. If she does call the cops, you will have to explain to them about what's going on and from there they will give you options.

Really, when I said go out for a while I meant merely a few hours. I wasn't thinking you'd actually go somewhere but some people's voices here obviously rang stronger than mine. No matter what happens though, jettie, you are going to have to listen to her sooner or later so I hope that you are ready for that. Things can work out, so keep hanging in there.

 

it wasn't my plan to leave, but she started threatening and throwing stuff at me so i took the chance and slipped out. i couldn't stay at my friends forever. called 2 times but with my friends phone and nothing, didn't leave a message. i didn't wanna go back but i did. they had not called the cops yet. i'm back now. i didn't talk to her. my dad was home and he just sent me to my room. he had to leave shortly after though. it is quiet here. i think mom realized she messed up, but i dunno how long it will stay. i don't wanna be the one to start the conversation. i've realised it is crap out there. pretty scary to. it was dark and storming like hell. should i go out and talk to her?

 

When does your dad come home? Maybe when he gets home all of you can talk and try to work out things. I'm sure he and she probably talked over things while you were gone. He probably sent you to your room to avoid anymore conflicts until he can get home.

 

i don't see him often. he has to work for the whole family. he is always out playing gigs or working. so now what?

 

It's rough to say. How was she acting when you got home? Just being quiet and letting your dad handle the situation? If so, you may want to let things lay low unless she opens up dialog with you but just make sure of course you are fed and such. Don't be too noisy if you can help it. She may want to talk to you or not right now. If you can though I'd suggest trying to talk to your dad when you can and perhaps tomorrow sometime trying to talk to her. If she rebuffs you (blows you off or wants you out of her face) wait for your dad and try to get them both together.

 

yes she just let dad do everything. i will not be nosey. i don't even leave my room unless i must. i never know when dad will show up. i guess hope if not i will go out to her tomorrow.

 

That may be the best thing to do since you don't know what your dad told her either. Hopefully he'll be home tomorrow so you could all talk. Keep cool.

 

i have waited up for over 2 days. i haven't left my room but for bathroom. that is it. no dad yet. can i just keep waiting? i am not wanting to make everything worse.

 

Well, staying in your room for 2 days is some time. It will be a new day soon so perhaps you should try to come out in the morning and talk to her if he's not going to be home.

It crosses my mind though that maybe part of the reason she's so anxious and upset is that he's not around much and she might not want to say anything to you about that. It does make me wonder if she's not getting sad for that reason that he's just not there.