Sex before marriage?

Yup, i agree with DW on the whole it's not important thing. I would pretty much leave it up to the girl cause it not something thats really neccessary in a relationship. You can love someone perfectly with having to have sex. and if you think you need it then your probably thinking with the wrong head. So i what im saying is that you should just do it when you both feel your ready and not try to force or rush anything.

 

I completely agree with you on this point. Sex should neither be overappreciated nor underappreciated. Extremes in anything are almost always bad. One must find balance in all aspects of life, including his or her outlook of sex. I think that many people who wait until after marriage to have sex view it as something very holy and precious, and yet I know of others who do not care a thing about sex and will have sex with almost anyone. Neither outlook, in my opinion, is healthy.

 

I suppose so but some people are a bit old tradition like in their outlook of sex. They just really want to save it for the person they love the most...after their wedding of course.

Heck, I know I am.

 

I gotta say I dont like the thought of sex before marrige. I think its really really wrong to hace sex with a guy you barely know. Theres a saying that when you have sex with someone youre having sex with anyone hes ever had sex with and the people those people had sex with and so on. What if the guy has an STD and doesnt tell you or doesnt know then youre gonna get it too and I really would not take that chance if I were you if youre gonna have sex have sex with your partner(husband/wife) and stay with that one person and then theres no chance to get an STD or any of that really bad stuff. Im pretty much ok with whatever everyone else is doing because im not part of it and when I do get married I would want a guy that is a VIRGIN that way youre almost 100 percent certain that youre not gonna get an STD
There I spoke my mind so everyone take a couple deep breaths and think about it

 

Condoms are extremely effective against STDs, despite what the government's propaganda-like "abstinance-only" sex-ed programs will say. You have to make sure you're safe before you have your fun. And if you've been going out a while and want to graduate to the pill or something like that, you should have appropreate medical testing done twice; get tested once and then again in six months. And even if you're a virgin, you could pick up a disease from something else without knowing it. Granted it's not as likely, but there's still that chance.

Also, there are people who are totally into each other who will probably stay together for a long time and don't believe in marriage for whatever reason. They're happy, and they should be respected.

If you want to wait, or if you want to jump right out there, either way that's your business. But you should definitely know all the facts (the REAL facts, not the insane religious right-wing's version) before you make your decision, I think.

 

Once again I agree with JackS27.

And Kurouxingusu, just because you are not married does not mean that you do not know your partner well. You can be romantically involved with someone for years and not be married. And if you really want to be safe about it, there are contraceptives that guard against STDs and also you can have your partner take tests for STDs. These are all things that you can do if you are or are not a married couple. Also, you can have sex with a virgin but still not be a married couple. Eventually you may marry, or you may not. Still, having a virgin as your lifelong partner is the individual's choice.

 

Hmm....I guess, religiously, I'll say "That's a bad thing to do. You should save yourself for marriage". But, as a HUMAN (not a walking Bible), I understand that everyone has urges, and whether you act upon them or not, is up to you. I mean, yeah, saving yourself for marriage does seem good, but realistically, what're the chances? And you can't force someone to powerfully follow abstinence or anything. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not with the saving for marriage (since some don't even get married...and sometimes they're all old and stuff), since it seems to be going against a natural urge. But I'll listen to my bro when he says, "Hey! Don't be silly! Wrap your willy!".

 

Especially because I think that it is quite healthy, and it feels great tooo!

I understand that you might respect your body and all but i think that respecting your body is having as much sex as you can in your life time. That is how i think that you respect your body.

 

BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! -laughs at brother's line- That is great!

Well,I am 13.Yes,THIRTEEN. >> I know what I am talking about,though.I know a lot for my age.... XP

Personally,I think that sex before marriage is something that one should think about before doing it.Yes,a lot of people have done it,but many of those people didn't really have much of a choice.Rape,by strangers or by relatives,is the reason.My friend told me she has a friend who knows her neighbor got raped by her uncle...and she is eight years old,and now pregnant.And she is scared because she is afraid that girl will die in childbirth because her body isn't,as she said,'advanced' enough for it.

So,yes.What I am basically trying to say is: Don't do it unless you completely know and understand your risks.

Some people do it to make a quick buck. (-cough hook3rs cough-) Some do it for the 'fun'. XP But whatever the reason you might do it,do it with the right reason: luff!!

I,personally,am saving myself for marriage.I'm not doing it just because I'm Christian.(wh00t!) Not only do I also believe it is right,but my parents would kill me if they ever found out if I was sleeping with a dude.XDD And even if I do decide to do it after marriage,he's wearin' protection. XD -does not want a child-

 

I'm not against it, and I'm not for it either. I rather wait until marriage, but if you do have sex before marriage it ain't gonna be the end of the world.

 

I personally think sex before marriage is fine. Abstinence was, is, and will remain for quite some time a religious belief. I am by no means religious, though that does not mean I lack morals.

I think one of the biggest issues with abstinence is it's one of the most subtle, strongest and eternal sexisms we have in society. Yes, virginity is valued. Maybe this is just where I live, but rarely is a male dumped because he isn't a virgin. For females? I've known some friends who's relationships were ruined just because of their past decisions. Does this mean they shouldn't have had sex?

No.

It means that the guy never really loved her along and she was better off without him.

If someone really loves you afterall, they should accept you and your history no matter what. I don't understand the powerful stigma attached to virginity, especially for women... but again, that may just be where I live. Who knows.

You look around you, and sexuality is the very last obstacle women have to conquer before being seen as equals in men. One of the highest causing deaths is domestic abuse/battering. Rape is method of torture, targetted at damaging a person in every possible way. Yes, more and more males are being exposed to this, but the facts are that women still dominate this section of victims. If we can remove taboos against being a "****", being "easy" and other vulgur terms I won't use, we're one step closer to removing sexually based discrimation.

Also, I think love is an important part of sex. Not marriage; love. I think that if you love the person at the time, you honestly believe it, then go for it. "Waiting" is a flawed conception, because how many people can know right away? Oh, the movies, the books, they all say it, but come on--people are only human. If you thought you loved them when you did it, you both whole-heartedly agreed, and time changed things, then move on. Being honest to yourself is the key here. Everybody makes mistakes, but it's how we react to them that's importnant.

Have I had sex? No. I haven't found anyone worth that committment yet. I'm not particularly concerned with waiting until marriage, but I'm not jumping into the first bed I see either per sae.

These are just my opinions, and I am by no means hostile towards those of differing views. The best argument abstinence has is probably there are so many nasty STDs just waiting to bite anyone that comes close enough. Abstinence is the only 100% way of preventing that. Condoms are always an option though, and abstinence won't save you from rape.

 

Shining, I don't think there is one thing in your repsonse that I do not agree with. And I definitely overlooked the whole sexism thing before. Thank you for bringing that up!

I think probably the most important point you made was that sex is directly related to love, not marriage. I could not agree more with you.

 

ppl that think it would B a boring way 2 live, hey there's way more 2 life! & also me = christian, & i don't really care what other people think, so yeah my answer is no but ppl don't have 2 take my advice just my opinion

 

Sex is one of the most important things necesary to keep a relationship alive, especially when you consider the fact that men are physically capable to have sex at least once a day, every day. Women may want to wait, but there aren't many guys who will wait very long until running off because they're not getting any action, myself included.

 

well, in my opinion it's ok and besides, i think that before doing such a thing as marriage you have to know COMPLETELY each other... i mean, technically ur sharing your life with that person!!
besides, who knows if u can't satisfy completely each other... maybe that'll lead to cheating >.>
of course i won't talk about the biological hormonal needs of a human being xD

and OF COURSE u can't be like go and get laid with any person u know... in my opinion, if u do it with the responsability and matureness that it takes (b.c. sex is not a game for kids, duuuuh) i think it's ok, and maybe it's a beautiful way to express ur love to ur partner... as my friends tell me of their experiences... when ur making love (not having sex =P) it makes the bonds between u WAY stronger... <3

so for me it's ok...

seems for my mom too...
i started going out with a guy a week ago and today she told me i should start always having condoms in my bag xDDDDDDD

THAT'S IMPORTANT!!! CONDOMS! ALWAYS! don't be stupid... if ur wise and mature and old enough to have sex, u are old enough to know its risks...

and... btw... i'm 18 and i'm a virgin... so i'm not coming like "lol guyz i say yes to sex before marriage because it's awesome" XDDDDD

nice, interesting topic... and it surprises me that everyone is soooo respectful with other's opinions and thoughts... i don't see that quite often >.>

 

Quoted for effect.


I know what DS means. I mean I don't consider sex vital, but it's rather important if you really do want to show you love someone. Not saying it's required, but it's honestly probably the only way to REALLY say you do love someone. Physically giving yourself to someone else is quite a way to show love.

But before marriage? Sure, why not? It won't do any harm. The only way to be safe is to use a condom, anyway. And really, they say not to have sex, many times, yet they mass produce condoms.

Which is why what I just said above is the only cure for pre-marridal sex. Unless you're really patient, which is very rare to come by.

 

I think this is about religon...I personally think that you should do what you want...

 

I personally wouldn't go far with someone if they wanted sex without marriage.

My mom was pregnant with my bro when she married my dad, and it was a burden for her since. Also, the male can leave at any point, at least with marriage, they have a bigger liability with kids and the courts with divorce.

I am personally against sex before marriage, and try to encourage others to do the same just because of the risks it has tied with it.

 

sex before marrage is risky imoral and i just dont see a point to it in my mind sex it something special between you and the person you have decided to spend your life with think of it this way everytime you have sex with someone you are giving part of yourself away, part you can never get back so be careful who you decide to give it to

and then there is always the risks unwanted pregnancies and std's there is now definate way to prevent them is it REALY all that worth it for me the answer is no and while i cant make decisions for anybody else i would strongly encoruage them to wait relationships are about love not sex ppl

 

but i think it is a great thing: it feels great and it rewards you with another person to "DO", not that i do little children and if we reproduced as much as China (1 baby per second) we would be cool, you know with all the bombs and stuff.