By signing this agreement, I agree to NEVER â€“ under all circumstances â€“ say or do anything in this passage ever again, so help me, Kingdom Hearts. Failing to abide by the rules will be met with a firm slap on the wrist and 10 minutes in time-out. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1. Axel is NOT Irish. 2. No, I may NOT call him â€œLuckyâ€ or ask him about his pot of gold. 3. Or say I find men at the end of rainbows extremely attractive. 4. Vexen is NOT â€œfabulousâ€. 5. No matter what I say, â€œextrapolateâ€ and â€œmasturbateâ€ are DIFFERENT. 6. I may not ever wear a tutu no matter how pretty it makes me feel. 7. No â€“ not even to bed. 8. I may not refer to my wang-danger as â€œMy Prince of Venusâ€. 9. Or, for short, â€œMy Prenus.â€ 10. I am not, under any circumstances, allowed to bring up my Prenus in front of Demyx. 11. Or Zexion. 12. I am not allowed to perform lap-dances in uniform. 13. If I strip it off DURING the performance, that counts as well. 14. I am not allowed to summon giant, man-eating plants to devour Xigbar under any circumstances, no matter how tempting. 15. I am not allowed to dye Xaldinâ€™s hair purple while heâ€™s asleep. 16. Even if it is TOTALLY his color. 17. Roxasâ€™s name is not â€œLukeâ€, and I am not his father. 18. Lexaeus is not to be used as a jungle-gym. 19. Nor is his hair able to raise flowers like a garden. 20. I am not allowed to sell drugs to Saix. 21. I am not allowed to raid the kitchen for everything vegetable-oriented at night. 22. Yes â€“ we all know itâ€™s â€œcold-blooded murderâ€. 23. Lexaeus is not a horse, and, therefore, should not be ridden like one. 24. Watching bees pollinate flowers is not to be referred to as â€œthe hottest thing on my green earthâ€. 25. They donâ€™t care how hard that bee was sucking on the sternum. 26. I am not to prance around the halls singing songs from â€œThe Sound of Musicâ€, the Spice Girls, or Prince. 27. It doesnâ€™t matter if Demyx was joining in. 28. Pointing out that Xaldinâ€™s legs need to be waxed one more time may lead to massive internal bleeding. Same goes for the rest of his body. 29. Demyxâ€™s official title is NOT â€œLord of the Sea, and King of the Seamen.â€ 30. We are aware that he brought it upon himself. 31. I am not allowed to refer to any of my Superiors as â€œ****.â€ 32. Nor â€œCigarettesâ€. 33. Yes â€“ that includes Demyx. 34. I am not to call Axel â€œa bulimic whoreâ€. 35. Yes â€“ we are all aware of what his night job is. 36. â€œBroke-Back Mountainâ€ will not be recreated with the Organization XIII as the actors no matter how much I ask. 37. I canâ€™t kick Xaldin in the jaw for referring to my hair as â€œtwo pink Christmas-trees.â€ 38. Just because itâ€™s â€œFangirl Seasonâ€, it doesnâ€™t mean we get to shoot them all. It would upset â€œthe balanceâ€. 39. I do not wish I were a sailor. 40. I canâ€™t randomly maul Luxord because â€œhe owes me munnyâ€. He never owes ANYONE munny. 41. No matter what I say, itâ€™s spelt M-U-N-N-Y. 42. â€œGot it memorized?â€ is Axelâ€™s catchphrase and HIS catchphrase only. 43. Same for â€œCommit it to memory.â€ 44. Xigbar WILL shoot me if I say â€œAs ifâ€, without any hesitation. 45. â€œBecause I wanted to,â€ is not an excuse. 46. Lexaeusâ€™s name is not â€œDa Rockâ€. 47. No â€“ we cannot smell what heâ€™s cooking. 48. Walking around the castle in the nude is NOT acceptable. 49. Xemnasâ€™s tan is not fake. 50. The following replies are NOT appropriate answers: â€œBecause.â€ 51. â€œIâ€™m drunk.â€ 52. â€œYoâ€™ Momma.â€ 53. â€œYour hair looks FABULOUS today â€“ who did it?â€ 54. â€œThatâ€™s what she said.â€ 55. â€œGheypeepulsaiwut?â€ 56. â€œJeez â€“ gotten laid recently? Iâ€™m guessing NOT!â€ 57. â€œTalk to the hand because your face is too much for the eyes to take.â€ 58. â€œWell, ex-CUUUUUUUUUSE me! *snapsnapsnap*â€ 59. â€œTwo words: Mouthwash.â€ 60. â€œOh â€“ thatâ€™s one word? Okay â€“ then Iâ€™ll say it twice! MOUTHWASH, MOUTHWASH!â€ 61. Or anything starting with, â€œWell, what had HAPPENED wasâ€¦â€ 62. Demyx is NOT on the menu. Period. 63. I HAVE to eat my vegetables once every two months. Failure to comply will result in death. 64. I do not have â€œthe lookâ€. 65. Humping things at random does not count as daily exercise. 66. EXTREME hopscotch does not count as one, either. 67. Vexen is not â€œJack-Frostâ€™s old geezer of a cousin.â€ 68. â€œMaster debaterâ€ = two words, and shall be pronounced as such. 69. I am not allowed to butter ANY of my fellow memberâ€™s muffins unless it has something to do with actual food. 70. Xemnas does NOT have wet dreams about Kingdom Hearts. 71. Lex is not on steroids. 72. No â€“ I may not sell any steroids to him to fix that. 73. Spandex is a privilege, not a right. 74. If I ask someone to shake their money-maker, theyâ€™d BETTER have a piggy-bank in their hands. 75. If I ask someone to shake their tail-feathers, theyâ€™d BETTER have a feather-duster in their hands. 76. Saix is not a puppy. 77. Roxas is not a step-ladder, a foot-stool NOR for sale. Even if it's the easiest 20 bucks I'll ever make. 78. If we are dining in a fine restaurant I may NOT stand up and loudly declare I have to go to the bathroom. 79. Nor may I come back and explain in EXCRUCIATING detail exactly what I was doing while I was away even LOUDER. 80. Burping my ABCâ€™s is NOT a remarkable talent and should not be preformed as such. 81. Zexionâ€™s room is off-limits at night. 82. If I continue to call the Wii by that name, I wonâ€™t be able to play on it anymore. 83. Xemnasâ€™s name is not Mansex. 84. It doesnâ€™t matter if the other members are saying it. 85. Nor is he Saixâ€™s â€œSugardaddyâ€. 86. It STILL doesnâ€™t matter if the other members are saying it. 87. Xemnasâ€™s speeches are a blessing and shall be treated as such. 88. Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion are not Xemnasâ€™s â€œThree Sexies.â€ 89. Curiosity killed the cat, and itâ€™ll kill me, too. 90. Roxas does not cut himself. 91. Weâ€™re NOT going to check if he does. 92. I am not to give Larxene vodka no matter how much she asks. 93. Jumping jacks are not considered jumping jacks unless youâ€™re actually standing up. 94. Nobody CARES if I broke a nail. 95. Nor do they care about my hair. 96. I am not to point out the obvious double-meaning of the word â€œnobodyâ€ in every occasion. 97. Whenever I bring up the word â€œCokeâ€ Iâ€™d BETTER be talking about the soda. 98. Uranus does NOT belong on â€œMy Prenusâ€. 99. I am not to repeat that joke when Demyx says he doesnâ€™t get it. 100. Nor may I say it slowly the first time so that he does. 101. Okay â€“ screw it. I canâ€™t say it at all. __________________________ (Your name here) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I felt bad for neglecting this site and giving dA all the good submissions and KHV sloppy seconds... This one was sitting around for a while, and I decided to get off my arse and finally submit it. Ummmm.... I'd rather this not be moved to the Spamzone, please. But it IS kinda 1337 for me, so, ya know, yeah. I'd understand if you did. But don't. Srsly. Mmm-hmm... Yeah. I think that's it. See ya'll next time. Lord of the Wings, ~Leah.