"Sign Here, Please..."

Discussion in 'Archives' started by 2Foxxie4U, Oct 5, 2008.

  1. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

    Oct 22, 2006
    The internet! Duh!
    By signing this agreement, I agree to NEVER – under all circumstances – say or do anything in this passage ever again, so help me, Kingdom Hearts. Failing to abide by the rules will be met with a firm slap on the wrist and 10 minutes in time-out.


    1. Axel is NOT Irish.
    2. No, I may NOT call him “Lucky†or ask him about his pot of gold.
    3. Or say I find men at the end of rainbows extremely attractive.
    4. Vexen is NOT “fabulousâ€.
    5. No matter what I say, “extrapolate†and “masturbate†are DIFFERENT.
    6. I may not ever wear a tutu no matter how pretty it makes me feel.
    7. No – not even to bed.
    8. I may not refer to my wang-danger as “My Prince of Venusâ€.
    9. Or, for short, “My Prenus.â€
    10. I am not, under any circumstances, allowed to bring up my Prenus in front of Demyx.
    11. Or Zexion.
    12. I am not allowed to perform lap-dances in uniform.
    13. If I strip it off DURING the performance, that counts as well.
    14. I am not allowed to summon giant, man-eating plants to devour Xigbar under any circumstances, no matter how tempting.
    15. I am not allowed to dye Xaldin’s hair purple while he’s asleep.
    16. Even if it is TOTALLY his color.
    17. Roxas’s name is not “Lukeâ€, and I am not his father.
    18. Lexaeus is not to be used as a jungle-gym.
    19. Nor is his hair able to raise flowers like a garden.
    20. I am not allowed to sell drugs to Saix.
    21. I am not allowed to raid the kitchen for everything vegetable-oriented at night.
    22. Yes – we all know it’s “cold-blooded murderâ€.
    23. Lexaeus is not a horse, and, therefore, should not be ridden like one.
    24. Watching bees pollinate flowers is not to be referred to as “the hottest thing on my green earthâ€.
    25. They don’t care how hard that bee was sucking on the sternum.
    26. I am not to prance around the halls singing songs from “The Sound of Musicâ€, the Spice Girls, or Prince.
    27. It doesn’t matter if Demyx was joining in.
    28. Pointing out that Xaldin’s legs need to be waxed one more time may lead to massive internal bleeding. Same goes for the rest of his body.
    29. Demyx’s official title is NOT “Lord of the Sea, and King of the Seamen.â€
    30. We are aware that he brought it upon himself.
    31. I am not allowed to refer to any of my Superiors as “****.â€
    32. Nor “Cigarettesâ€.
    33. Yes – that includes Demyx.
    34. I am not to call Axel “a bulimic whoreâ€.
    35. Yes – we are all aware of what his night job is.
    36. “Broke-Back Mountain†will not be recreated with the Organization XIII as the actors no matter how much I ask.
    37. I can’t kick Xaldin in the jaw for referring to my hair as “two pink Christmas-trees.â€
    38. Just because it’s “Fangirl Seasonâ€, it doesn’t mean we get to shoot them all. It would upset “the balanceâ€.
    39. I do not wish I were a sailor.
    40. I can’t randomly maul Luxord because “he owes me munnyâ€. He never owes ANYONE munny.
    41. No matter what I say, it’s spelt M-U-N-N-Y.
    42. “Got it memorized?†is Axel’s catchphrase and HIS catchphrase only.
    43. Same for “Commit it to memory.â€
    44. Xigbar WILL shoot me if I say “As ifâ€, without any hesitation.
    45. “Because I wanted to,†is not an excuse.
    46. Lexaeus’s name is not “Da Rockâ€.
    47. No – we cannot smell what he’s cooking.
    48. Walking around the castle in the nude is NOT acceptable.
    49. Xemnas’s tan is not fake.
    50. The following replies are NOT appropriate answers: “Because.â€
    51. “I’m drunk.â€
    52. “Yo’ Momma.â€
    53. “Your hair looks FABULOUS today – who did it?â€
    54. “That’s what she said.â€
    55. “Gheypeepulsaiwut?â€
    56. “Jeez – gotten laid recently? I’m guessing NOT!â€
    57. “Talk to the hand because your face is too much for the eyes to take.â€
    58. “Well, ex-CUUUUUUUUUSE me! *snapsnapsnap*â€
    59. “Two words: Mouthwash.â€
    60. “Oh – that’s one word? Okay – then I’ll say it twice! MOUTHWASH, MOUTHWASH!â€
    61. Or anything starting with, “Well, what had HAPPENED was…â€
    62. Demyx is NOT on the menu. Period.
    63. I HAVE to eat my vegetables once every two months. Failure to comply will result in death.
    64. I do not have “the lookâ€.
    65. Humping things at random does not count as daily exercise.
    66. EXTREME hopscotch does not count as one, either.
    67. Vexen is not “Jack-Frost’s old geezer of a cousin.â€
    68. “Master debater†= two words, and shall be pronounced as such.
    69. I am not allowed to butter ANY of my fellow member’s muffins unless it has something to do with actual food.
    70. Xemnas does NOT have wet dreams about Kingdom Hearts.
    71. Lex is not on steroids.
    72. No – I may not sell any steroids to him to fix that.
    73. Spandex is a privilege, not a right.
    74. If I ask someone to shake their money-maker, they’d BETTER have a piggy-bank in their hands.
    75. If I ask someone to shake their tail-feathers, they’d BETTER have a feather-duster in their hands.
    76. Saix is not a puppy.
    77. Roxas is not a step-ladder, a foot-stool NOR for sale. Even if it's the easiest 20 bucks I'll ever make.
    78. If we are dining in a fine restaurant I may NOT stand up and loudly declare I have to go to the bathroom.
    79. Nor may I come back and explain in EXCRUCIATING detail exactly what I was doing while I was away even LOUDER.
    80. Burping my ABC’s is NOT a remarkable talent and should not be preformed as such.
    81. Zexion’s room is off-limits at night.
    82. If I continue to call the Wii by that name, I won’t be able to play on it anymore.
    83. Xemnas’s name is not Mansex.
    84. It doesn’t matter if the other members are saying it.
    85. Nor is he Saix’s “Sugardaddyâ€.
    86. It STILL doesn’t matter if the other members are saying it.
    87. Xemnas’s speeches are a blessing and shall be treated as such.
    88. Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion are not Xemnas’s “Three Sexies.â€
    89. Curiosity killed the cat, and it’ll kill me, too.
    90. Roxas does not cut himself.
    91. We’re NOT going to check if he does.
    92. I am not to give Larxene vodka no matter how much she asks.
    93. Jumping jacks are not considered jumping jacks unless you’re actually standing up.
    94. Nobody CARES if I broke a nail.
    95. Nor do they care about my hair.
    96. I am not to point out the obvious double-meaning of the word “nobody†in every occasion.
    97. Whenever I bring up the word “Coke†I’d BETTER be talking about the soda.
    98. Uranus does NOT belong on “My Prenusâ€.
    99. I am not to repeat that joke when Demyx says he doesn’t get it.
    100. Nor may I say it slowly the first time so that he does.
    101. Okay – screw it. I can’t say it at all.

    (Your name here)


    I felt bad for neglecting this site and giving dA all the good submissions and KHV sloppy seconds... This one was sitting around for a while, and I decided to get off my arse and finally submit it.

    Ummmm.... I'd rather this not be moved to the Spamzone, please. But it IS kinda 1337 for me, so, ya know, yeah. I'd understand if you did.

    But don't. Srsly.

    Mmm-hmm... Yeah. I think that's it. See ya'll next time.

    Lord of the Wings,
  2. Rosey Chaser

    Apr 15, 2007
    ....Foxxie i love you have my babies.

    I could not stop laughing xDDDDDDD I love itttt xD

    Foxxies still got ittttttt =D
  3. Mielé Banned

    Oct 27, 2007
    You are God.
  4. Absol Hollow Bastion Committee

    Dec 17, 2007
    Amazing. Just...amazing.

    Possibly the most epic non-spam thread on the entire forum.
  5. {feel.the.wrath} Hollow Bastion Committee

    Jan 19, 2008
    4 am forever.
    Epic. Truly epic.

  6. W7F King's Apprentice

    Jul 22, 2007
    Jax Beach, FL

    Its about time you came back. You've been gone so long, I had forgotten that I'm not supposed to read anything posted by you after my parents fall asleep. They're totally pissed that I woke them up after laughing my face off X_X.
  7. Hopefulwishes Traverse Town Homebody

    Sep 15, 2008
    Somewhere in Florida &lt;__&lt;

    *Rips up contract* MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *gets hit by Zemnas* OWWWWW!! MEANIE!! I don't like you, you, you.....MANSEX!!! HHAHAHAHAHAHA! *runs away to mexico*
  8. Maka Albarn It's called love

    May 7, 2008
    Fairy Tail
    Wow! Lol, that was nice. :D Great job.
  9. Juicy Chaser

    May 29, 2008
    HAHAHA that was just epic xDD

    number 98, 70 and 69 almost had me in tears xDDD

  10. MadDoctorMaddie I'm a doctor, not a custom title!

    Apr 19, 2008
    Med Bay
    I already read this on DA, but it's still funny as hell!!!
  11. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

    Oct 22, 2006
    The internet! Duh!
    Awww... Thanks, guys. <:3

    No - really. Thanks tons. I know I've said it a lot before, but it's nice knowing that people still care about me on here. *squishy-huggles everyone*
  12. Tahno The official Charlie Sheen of Republic City.

    Jun 24, 2008
    Pro-Bending Arena; Republic City
    The most epic funny thing in the Creativity Corner! =P
  13. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

    Oct 22, 2006
    The internet! Duh!
    Thank you, mate! ^^ *hugs*
  14. Rosey Chaser

    Apr 15, 2007
    Foxxie how the hell COULD we forget you ._.

    POST IN HERE MOAR DAMNIT WOMANZ *eats joo face off*

    You still havent lost your commic effect dont worry :3
  15. Hopefulwishes Traverse Town Homebody

    Sep 15, 2008
    Somewhere in Florida &lt;__&lt;
    What do you mean by DA?
  16. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

    Oct 22, 2006
    The internet! Duh!
    DA = deviantArt. A place where creators, artists, and authors alike can get together and blog and share their works and... stuff like that. XD Go there sometime - it's fantasticle. XD

    I knoooow... *flails* It's just hard not to think of myself as old news sometimes.. Maybe I'm just a vain, ignorant bish. Whatever. For some reason, I just feel like I belong anymore, though.

    What happened to you on MSN, BTW? If... you already have MSN... X.x;;; *forgets shiz like crazy*
  17. ♦Demon♥Angel♦ Gummi Ship Junkie

    Feb 26, 2008
    &lt;&lt;insert witty comment here&gt;&gt;
    Well, now lets not get carried away. First things first...I don't get that joke about "My Preice" Or smoething.,and I'm not Demyx :D

    That was really funny. I chuckled through that WHOLE thing. When you said "Roxas dosen't cut himself" I wanted to say "Oh man" out loud.

    Lol, man, lol.
  18. Dinny I am Anime ( ⚈้̤͡ ◡ ⚈้̤͡ )

    Jun 16, 2007
    Gotham City
    xDDD lulz~

    I'm laughing like a complete idiot right now >w<

    *reads it over again* 8D
  19. Finale Wannabe Nobody

    Feb 3, 2007
    i'll sign this anyday xDDD
  20. Panda Face Gummi Ship Junkie

    ur stories awesome! no one shall ever forget u~ i just meet u! :'(