So I tried the iGod thing...

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hi honey I'm home
Stranger: hi
Stranger: honey
Stranger: I'm home
You: fuck you you were supposed to be home hours ago
Stranger: well you know the secretary was
Stranger: nevermind
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


whyyyyyy :c

 

Stranger: hey
You: is for horses. derp. derp.
Stranger: i just took the warmest shit ever. i felt like i was shitting a volcano.

 

I feel really bad now...i've been talkin' to this lass in the USA thinkin' it'd be a laugh...but she's scottish n' super cool...she thinks i'm a man. T__T

 

I feel bad sometimes when they're nice and I try to have a laugh and then leave D:

Stranger: howdyho!
You: hola
Stranger: wots homes
Stranger: up
Stranger: i missed the word up out
Stranger: god...
You: good job :'D
Stranger: wots up homes
Stranger: AM SMOOTH!
You: Damn right you are
Stranger: ^^
Stranger: so wot u doing!
You: I'm not doing anythi- holy god rabid raccoons
You have disconnected.

 

I am a bad kitteh. We have soooooo much in common! T_________________T

 

Stranger: Hey
You: hello
Stranger: asl pls
You: 30. virgin. in a bag of chips.
Stranger: haha nice, one thing though...gender please
You: he she
Stranger: give me the right answer and this conversation can get really interesting
You: female
Stranger: hmmmmm i see
Stranger: so just female yeah, not shemale?
You: sure
Stranger: Cuz shemale kinda scare me
You: Shemale hater?
Stranger: no not really, well i got a couple of friends actually
Stranger: but one of them gave me phobeia
You: well k then
Stranger: so you hating me for that now?
You: no
You: i don't even know you
Stranger: hmmm well let me introduce myself
Stranger: the name is Dar
You: my name is rainbow veins from the land of united states
You: where the states are united
Stranger: hmm
You: in a rainbow type of vein
Stranger: where about in the states?
You: somewhere towards the east
Stranger: has anybody told you your kinda weird?
You: Yeah. But, I take it as a compliment.
You: Are you implying I'm weird?
Stranger: maybe just a little bit
Stranger: well its a good thing right
Stranger: concidering you take it as a compliment
Stranger: how boring can you get if your normal uh
You: Pretty boring. Almost robotic.
Stranger: exactly, wheres the fun??
You: It's in a sack of potatos on a cart in stop n shop
Stranger: hmmm im just wondering, can you get condoms on stop n shop cart x3?
You: It depends on if you know the cashier; On a first name basis
Stranger: hmmm i guess i have to turn my charm on the cashier uh
You: BE warned
You: She can arouse the toughest of men by checking out canned goods.
Stranger: ooh thanks for the advice, i'll keep that in mind



wat

 

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
How are you doing, Satan.
Me:
Not bad, it's kind of hot. I'm also plotting your downfall.
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, Satan. Also I don't know anyone named plotting my downfall. .
Me:
Good, we'll keep it that way.
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
Not for at least three years or so. The Mayans were clever *******s.
God:
Then what for? I have never heard about it.
Me:
You'll see one day, God. You'll see.
God:
What makes you say that I will see one day God. When will I see it?
Me:
The day that is known by your people as Armageddon
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
What about the Bible?
God:
The Bible is a holy book for Christians.
Me:
And it speaks of Armageddon.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
It is the Bible. The Bible speaks of Armageddon.
God:
I've heard of it before. New Testament or Old?
Me:
I'm Satan, I'm not telling you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Let me kill an angel to prove it.
God:
I would not want you to kill anything.
Me:
Of course you wouldn't.
God:
Yippee! I could if I wanted to.
Me:
So will you let me?
God:
Next question? I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
I'm evil incarnate.
God:
I don't know anyone named evil incarnate.
Me:
I was one of your angels?
God:
Where were you one of my angels?
Me:
In Heaven, you fool.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Heaven me fool.
Me:
It's your kingdom jackass.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Mine is Hell, so that would mean yours is Heaven.
God:
You mean my kingdom jackass is Hell so that would mean mine is Heaven ? That makes sense I guess.

 

lol, then he left. xD

 

I actually have been having a conversation for about a half and hour about religion and the impact of the Greek and Roman empires on modern civilzation. It's nice to see people like this in these sorts of places.

Then this...

You: Does the name Enoch Powell mean anything to you?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: its was my dog and and and its you, hey you!!! getback here back to the cage!!!
Stranger: hey DOG!!!
Stranger: ENOCH
Stranger: BACK HERE TO THE CAGE

 

My quest continues!

@_@

 

That was amazing.

OH GOD LOL:

God:
That's a good question.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
which means you're not sure
God:
The blue one, I think.
Me:
We're not talking about colors, thank you.
God:
What happened to you?
Me:
I could ask you the same thing.
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
No you're not sure.
God:
Are you serious? Absolute certainty is not attainable in this case.
Me:
Of course I'm serious, now get back in the kitchen
God:
Yikes! It's good to meet someone who is serious now get back in the kitchen.

 

Poor wee lamb. xD

 

:lolface:

You: こんにちは
Stranger: whats up
You: 何もない
You: あなた？
Stranger: ****
Stranger: u speak english?
Stranger: no?
You: yes
Stranger: hater

this was on omegle xD

EDIT:

this is now iGOD



Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Nostradamus
God:
Nice to meet you, Nostradamus.
Me:
What will happen in 2012?
God:
I cannot predict the future.
Me:
dont you make the future?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
CHURN THE BUTTA CHURN THE BITTA CHUUUUURN IT BABY
God:
Do you have any CHURN THE BUTTA CHURN THE BUTTA CHUUUUURN IT BABY?
Me:
mmmm hmmmmmmm
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
My God, I MEAN My Gosh, did you ever see cyborg satan vs jesus by smosh on youtube? they are hilarious, thanks for making them
God:
Do robots have God you MEAN your Gosh did me ever see cyborg satan vs jesus by smosh on youtube? hilarious thanks for making them are they.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
dude you are a hypocrite
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a hypocrite? Of course I am. Dude,.
Me:
i am error
God:
Do you mean your name is error.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
NOSTRADAMUS
God:
Hi, NOSTRADAMUS.
Me:
DUDE DO YOU HAVE ALZHEIMERS?
God:
No I don't think I have any ALZHEIMER'S. But I do have a lot of friends on the web. Dude,.
Me:
whatever, im turning to Shiatology
God:
Will you do anything special to celebrate?
Me:
burn all the crosses in my house
God:
Do you have any matches?
Me:
make them for me
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
not repeating
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
you mean that smart 12 year old Canadian you made?
God:
Yes NOSTRADAMUS I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
GOOD DAY SIR
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I MEANT GOOD BYE
God:
See you later. Oh I see. Thanks for the compliment.


that dumbshit god

 

I remember when I broke iGod for like two hours.

Also,

Me:
HELLO, INSIGNIFICANT HUMAN
God:
Hello there. My favorite color is White.
Me:
GOOD SHALL I KILL YOU NOW?
God:
Oh. Thanks for the compliment. Killing is wrong.
Me:
NO IT ISNT
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
NO, NOW ME KILL THOU.
God:
Are you serious? Why now? YOU? Killing is wrong.
Me:
nO, IT ISN'T.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is.
Me:
YOU HEARD WRONG.
God:
Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
YES, YOU WERE.
God:
That's interesting. No I am not.
Me:
YOU SHOULD KILL PEOPLE BY LASER BEAMS.
God:
Maybe I will do it?
Me:
YOU SHOULD.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.

Also, an Omegle chat:

You: A wild Abra appears!
Stranger: Ghastly i choose you
You: Wild Abra uses Teleport.
You have disconnected.

 

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: asl?
You: You first
Stranger: i asked first lol
You: 16, male virgin, and USA
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omegle, btw

 

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: TWO GIRLS ONE CUP
Your conversational partner has disconnected

:c

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heeey!
You: MR. STRANGER, HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE TOOTSIE ROLL CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?

Stranger: dsgbklksflnmthlsa
Stranger: :D
You: Seriously, how many?
Stranger: 1274856890
You: Orly?
Stranger: eing?
You: wut
Stranger: caca para ti
You: NO >:O

Stranger: XDDDD
You: I don't like fat ugly guys that enjoy humping goats while eating popsicles
Stranger: eing?
Stranger: xD
You: >:c
Stranger: are you a girl
?
You: Yes but I have a scorching case of herpes AND I am a lesbian.
Stranger: xD
Stranger: e__e
You: Still want me? TOO BAD >:O
Stranger: lalalala
Stranger: xD
You: Ewwww
Stranger: caca caca
Stranger: xD
You: YOU'RE A CACA
You have disconnected


2634 users onlineConnecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Never Gonna Give You Up lyrics

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.