Hmmm... I hope this one doesn't get me in trouble... >.>; Why'd I call it "The Game"? ...... I dunno. XD; It sorta sounded... Pimptastic. XD *is hit with a brick* I coulda split this story into two parts, but I didn't cuz I'm nice. >.>; Oh, and, BTW, this isn't that super-shecret project I was talking about. This is actually kinda old, I just finished it today cuz my friend asked me to. =\ All my other fanfics have not been rated before, but I kinda feel this one has a need to be. XD; Rated PG-13 for mild cursing (nothing new), strip pokerness ( O.o; ), and Luxord's extremely stalker-like mind. (hint hint... XD) Enjoy! =3 2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The Game" Luxord sighed. He was sitting on his bed, dealing cards to himself, yet again. Such a boring day.. There’s never anything to do here…He paused. I wonder what Xiggy’s doing… How sad was that? Hardly 20 seconds had passed and his mind automatically went back to Xigbar. Again. Luxord stared up to the ceiling, his hands still going through the motions of dealing cards. Hmmmm… I wonder if he’s working out again…? He grinned, dreamily. He rested his face in his palm, as he thought back. I remember the first time I went to go work out with him… I’ll never forget it… Hehhehheh… He looks so cute in gym shorts… He bit his bottom lip, still grinning, as he stared into space. You didn’t even want to know what he was thinking at that moment… One of the other members of the Organization was walking down that particular hall, when they realized the door to Luxord’s room was open. He poked his head into the room, and found Luxord staring out into nowhere, cards scattered around on his bed, and with an expression on his face that literally read “gone…” He scooted into the room, raising an eyebrow. “Uh… Luxord?” Luxord’s head snapped in the voice’s direction. Wouldn’t you know it… It was the one member that Luxord had the biggest soft spot for… It was… The Freeshooter himself. Xigbar crossed his arms, staring curiously at the blonde. “What exactly are you doing…?” Luxord blushed, blinked, and looked down. “Oh, um… Uh… What exactly am I doing…? I was just… Um… Playing… Cards. Yeah.” Xigbar blinked. “Playing cards…? With who?” Silence. “With myself…” Xigbar laughed a little, sitting down on the bed. “Damn! You must be bored out of your MIND!” he exclaimed. Luxord stared at Xigbar, near speechless. “Y-Yeah…” he murmured, blushing even more. He couldn’t believe Xigbar was actually TALKING to him like this! Suddenly, Luxord got an incredibly ingenious idea. He smiled a little and said softly, “Well, how about you play with me instead?” Xigbar yawned, and scratched the back of his neck. “Sure, why not. It’s not like I have anything better to do…” He propped his chin up on his hand. “What kinda game are we playing?” Luxord was already gathering back up the cards. “Oh, nothing special…” he said, carefully. “Just… You know… Poker…” Xigbar raised his eyebrow again. “Poker?” “Yep…” Luxord grinned a little, before adding, “Strip poker.” Xigbar grinned, also. “STRIP poker, you say…? Ooh, laa, laa…!” Luxord giggled a little as he shuffled the cards. Yes, Xigbar… Strip poker… But little do YOU know that this will be no ordinary game… He laughed at some random joke Xigbar had just told about Marluxia. Unlike other games, with THIS one, you are destined to lose. No matter WHAT. He started dealing the cards, smiling deviously. You couldn’t even tell that he was switching the cards around so that Xigbar would come up with the worst hand. Usually, I wouldn’t cheat. I’m so good I’ve never needed to. But I’m not leaving anything to chance this time… This game is too precious to me. Xigbar grabbed his cards, keeping them face-down. “You ready…?” he asked, grinning deviously. Luxord grinned, grabbing his cards, also. “As ready as I’ll ever be…” “Ready…? GO!” They both looked at their cards at the same time. Luxord examined his, grinned, and showed them Xigbar. “Ooh… Oh well. Prepare to lose that shirt, Xiggy.” He smirked. Xigbar blinked, and looked back down at his cards, and huffed angrily. “Well, that sucks…” He looked back up at Luxord, and shook his head. “Nah, man… I always do gloves first.” He pulled off a glove, and gave his cards back to Luxord. “Let the game continue…” he muttered. Luxord pouted, took the cards, and started shuffling again. Damn it… I wanted to see some skin… He started dealing the cards again. No matter… I’ll get to the good stuff soon enough. When he was done dealing, they both picked up their cards and examined them. Luxord chuckled. “I win again, Xigbar!” he crowed as he turned over his cards. Xigbar grumbled to himself. “Meh… I thought I had you that time…” he sighed, disappointedly. Luxord stared at him with wide eyes, grinning. Xigbar blinked, then held up his other hand. “In case you didn’t know, I have a glove for BOTH of my hands…” The grin melted away. Luxord crossed his arms. “FINE,” he growled as Xigbar took off his other glove. He shuffled quickly, then dealed again. Xigbar sighed. “Well… I know for sure I didn’t win this time…” he sighed, throwing down his cards. He started pulling off one of his boots. “God, I suck today…” he grumbled. He spotted Luxord staring at him. “But no matter!” he shouted in a determined manner. “I can always come back…! And when I do, I’ma whup yo’ butt, too!” We’ll see about that… Luxord thought, grinning. Later… Xigbar hugged his shoulders, shivering. Now he was completely bare except for his dark violet boxers. The rest of his lost clothes lay on a heap on the floor. He studied Luxord's face, waiting for him to deal the cards. I don't under-STAND it! Why am I so bad tonight and Luxord completely flawless?! I mean... I guess he COULD be cheating... But why WOULD he...? Luxord bit his lip again, trying his best to keep his eyes (not to mention his hands) off of the tempting boxers right in front of him. Here we go, Luxxy! Only one more piece left! You can do this! Do NOT lose your cool! He dealt the last couple of cards, his hands shaking a little. Xigbar was also trembling as he put his hands on his cards. He glanced up at Luxord. Come on, luck… don’t fail me now…! he thought, gulping, though he knew that it would take more than luck to have him win this game at his current state… He quickly brought his cards up to his face, looked over them all… and grinned. Holy crap – I might actually have a chance this time! Luxord watched Xigbar’s expression with glee. “You might as well wipe that smile off your face, Xiggy, and kiss those boxers goodbye!” He flashed his cards in front of Xigbar’s face, hysterical with joy. “Cuz you just found yourself against a man that got a Royal Flush!” He could barely control himself. He gave a loud wolf-whistle and started chanting, “Take it off! TAKE IT OFF!!!” Xigbar's eyes widened to the size of grapefruits. His jaw dropped and his whole face started to turn a bright red as he stared incredulously at Luxord. Oh… Damn…! He raised his eyebrows and glanced down at his boxers and then his head snapped back up, a scared, wild look in his eyes as Luxord started shouting, "Take it off! TAKE IT OFF!!!" Suddenly, he started crawling backwards a little, his face about as red as a tomato. "Whoa... Huh-uh. No. I ain't doin' it." He crossed his arms, stubbornly, and turned around. "Um… You, uh… You cheated." Luxord stopped chanting abruptly. “Wh-What…?” “You cheated…” Xigbar wasn’t really sure if Luxord cheated or not, he just suddenly got self-conscious. Luxord narrowed his eye. “I didn’t cheat…” he replied, haughtily. “I’m just that good. Besides, you don’t have any proof… Now take. The boxers. Off. Now!” “NO!” Xigbar replied. He was acting like he was a little kid. “You’re not abiding by the rules!” Luxord shouted. “Well, neither were you when you cheated.” He paused. “Cheater.” Luxord lost it. “YAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” He pounced on Xigbar, tackling the poor Freeshooter to the ground. “YOU WILL TAKE THE BOXERS OFF!!!” he screamed. Xigbar cried out in pain and surprise. “AGH! Luxord, wh-what are you doing?! This is only a game, right?!” Luxord was panting, his hands clutching Xigbar’s arms firmly. He stared at Xigbar for a few moments, then grinned wickedly. Hehhehhehheh… Just a game… No. It’s not just a game. Not anymore. NOT SINCE I’M THIS CLOSE! Of course, he didn’t say that out loud, though. Instead, he just purred, “Yes, it’s just a game. But games have rules – rules that YOU have to obey! Now STRIP!” Xigbar grabbed Luxord’s shoulders, a determined, but still panicked expression on his face, “Look, I know you’re the guy who’s obsessed with gambling and card games and stuff inside of the Organization XIII, but this is taking it a BIT too far!” He forced Luxord over, and rolled on top of him. Luxord, still wearing that creepy grin, shouted, “Oh, NO it’s not! You’re gonna go by the rules whether you want to or not!” He did the same thing to Xigbar. Pretty soon, they were rolling all about the room, bumping into things and even breaking some. They were also screaming things at eachother, Xigbar fighting to keep his boxers on, and Luxord fighting to take them off. This is basically what the conversation sounded like… “Luxord, STOP IT! You’re acting crazy!” “Am not! I just want you to take off your boxers! Is that so bad?!” “Yes, since you cheated!” “I DIDN’T CHEAT! Now take ‘em off!” “NO! You can’t make me!” “We’ll see about that…!” A giggle. “HEY! Get your hands OFF there!” A cracking sound. “OW! Hey! Slapping is against the rules!” “So is CHEATING!” “SO IS NOT TAKING OFF YOUR BOXERS!!!! Now take ‘em off!!!” "NO!!!!" "DO IT!!!!!!" "NUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!” While those two were off doing that, Zexion was strolling down the hallway, munching on an apple. Hmmmm… What’s all the ruckus…? he wondered slowing down to stare at Luxord’s room door. Faintly, he could hear things being broken, and muffled cries. He blinked. Maybe I’ve been reading too many dirty magazines… he thought, narrowing his eyes. After hesitating a little, he pushed open the door with his hand. He was greeted by a… Not so welcoming sight. Luxord was grinning deviously on top of a nearly-naked Xigbar. They were both clutching each-other’s shoulders tightly and panting; their faces were so close together, their noses almost seemed to be touching. Xigbar did a double-take at Zexion, and was completely frozen with shock and horror. His face was rapidly becoming a dark red. He moved his lips to say something, but no sound came out. Luxord followed his eyes, and stared at Zexion curiously. His eyes seemed to be asking, “Can’t you see we’re busy?” The three stared at each other for a very long, awkward silence. Xigbar and Luxord glanced at each other, then back at Zexion. Zexion was examining them both, an emotionless expression on his face as he continued eating his apple. Suddenly, Zexion stuck his apple into his mouth, holding it there with his teeth. He pulled a camera out of his pocket, aimed it at the two, paused... took a step back, aimed again, and snapped a picture. A little slip of paper slid out of one end. Zexion pulled it out, stuck the camera back into his pocket, pulled the apple out of his mouth, and calmly began walking off, shaking the undeveloped picture in his hand as he went. “Hey… Wait…!” Xigbar whimpered after him. He glanced at Luxord, narrowed his eyes, and shoved the blonde off him. “Hey – Whoa – AHHH!!!!” Luxord screamed as he did a face-plant into the ground. Xigbar was already on his feet. “WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIT!!!!!!! ZEXION!!!!!!!!!” he cried, running out into the hallway. Luxord sighed, overcome with sadness. “He’s gone…” he sighed. He sat like that for a moment, then looked back up. Oh well… At least I got a good look at his underwear… He sighed, slumping down. “Zexion!!! ZEXXY!!!!!!! STOP, DUDE!!!!” Xigbar cried, tearing down the hallway after Number VI. Zexion finally stopped walking and turned around, staring at Xigbar indifferently. “LOOK, dude!” Xigbar ran up to him, then put his hands on his knees, panting. Zexion stared at him, waiting for him to catch his breath. “What… What you saw back there was…” Xigbar panted. “Was… Was NOT what it… looked like…” Zexion blinked, staring at him, then pulled out his picture again, staring at it. “Hmmm… Nope. It looks exactly what it looks like to me.” He slipped it into his pocket and began walking off once more. “No, no, WAIT!” Xigbar ran up to him again. “It's NOT! We were just playing strip poker! I promise!” Zexion rolled his eyes and stared Xigbar in the eye. “Riiiight… And Luxord being on top of you is required for strip poker?” Silence. Xigbar looked down, trying to scrape up an excuse. Zexion nodded at Xigbar’s silence, thinking that it was a confession. “That’s right. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to put this in my blackmail folder.” Xigbar groaned in frustration. “But I TOLD you, it’s not LIKE that…!” he whined, pulling his hair. “Xigbar, I’m not a kid, alright? I know about the birds and the bees!” Zexion growled. “Just how young do you really think I am?!” “But, I – But it’s not – AGH!!!” Okay, screw this… Time for plan B… That picture can NOT get out, no matter WHAT! He took a deep breath, then said in a low voice, “Uh… Okay, how much do you want for it…?” He glanced around suspiciously. Zexion stared at him for a moment, then raised an eyebrow. “Well, how much do you think I want for it…?” Xigbar stared at him, awkwardly. “Uh… Um… 6 thousand munny…?” he asked. Zexion narrowed his eyes. A gulp. “Uh, 6 HUNDRED thousand munny???” Zexion rolled his eyes and started to walk off again. “WAIT! 6 HUNDRED MILLION MUNNY! AND THAT’S MY FINAL OFFER!!!” Zexion stopped walking. He gave a sly grin, as his eyes looked back at where Xigbar was standing. By the time he’d turned around, the grin was gone. “You drive a hard bargain, Xigbar... Alright, fine. But only cuz I got bigger fish to fry,” he grumbled, holding the picture out to the Freeshooter. Xigbar sighed in relief, and reached out to grab it, but as soon as he did, the picture was snatched back. “Huh-uh-uhhhh…” Zexion smiled faintly. “I wanna SEE the munny first.” Xigbar slumped down, an exasperated look on his face. “Well? Chop, chop, before I raise the price even higher!” Zexion commanded. Xigbar gulped, and scurried off to his room. When he got there, the FIRST thing he did was go get dressed. Then, he clawed around in his closet for a large bag that he could put the munny in. He sighed, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “To the bank…” he muttered, portalling off. A few minutes later… Zexion was lying on his bed, his legs crossed as he read a magazine. He was just about to turn the page, when he caught sight of a Corridor of Darkness opening in his room. He slipped the magazine under his pillow, and sat up, ready to greet his visitor. It was Xigbar, of course. The huge bag on his back was now bulging with munny. He glared at Zexion for a few seconds. Zexion stared back, completely unfazed. Finally, Xigbar sighed and dropped the bag off his shoulder. “Here it is – 6 hundred million munny, as promised…” He held out his hand for the picture. Zexion struck a thoughtful pose, first looking at the bag, then at Xigbar. “…I wanna see it,” he said at last. Xigbar stared at Zexion like he was insane. “Well…?” Xigbar sighed, then opened up the bag, revealing several glittering diamond-shaped stones. Munny. “See? Here’s the munny. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like—” “Count it out.” “Exquease me?!” “Count it out. Gotta make sure you’re not trying to trick me or anything…” Xigbar snapped. “Ah, WHAT DA HELL, MAN?!?!?!?” he roared. Zexion glared at him. “Hey, maybe you forgot, but I’m the one with the picture here. You play by my rules. Now, I’d suggest you count out the damn munny before I mass e-mail this picture of you and Luvverboy to everyone in the whole f[honk]in’ Organization. Got it?” Xigbar slumped down, completely silent. After a while, he gave a loud sigh, and started counting out every piece of money, slowly, but surely. After about half an hour, you could hear him saying, “599,999,800; 599,999,900; 6 hundred million.” He stood up, and started rolling his head around, slowly. “Okay, what next? You want me to tap dance or somethin’, ya dirty little sneak…?” Zexion grinned wickedly. “No, that’ll be enough, Xigbar.” He stood up, and slowly, and swaggered over his closet. He dug around in it for a few seconds, then walked back up to Xigbar, holding a black folder. He opened it, leafed through it for a couple of seconds, then held out the picture of Luxord and Xigbar together to the Freeshooter. “I believe this is yours…?” “Psh… Thanks… I guess…” Xigbar grumbled, snatching the picture away. He stared at it for a few seconds, but then his eyes flickered back to the folder. His eyes grew wide as he did a double-take at a picture. “Is… Is that Xemnas and Sai—” Zexion snapped the folder shut. “Nevermind that,” he snapped. “They still haven’t had time to pay me yet. If the secret comes out, you’ll be the first to know.” Xigbar blinked. “Uh… Okay…” He backed up to the door. “Um… So, I guess I’ll be going now – BYE!” With that, he dashed off. Zexion watched him go, then grinned back at the bag of munny Xigbar had left him. Suck-er… At the most I woulda settled for 600 MUNNY! Xigbar sighed, staring at the picture that had given him so much grief. So… What do I do with it…? I should destroy it, but HOW? He stopped at the entrance of Luxord’s room. Hmmm… Maybe I should ask HIM… Luxord was still sitting on his bed, moping about what COULD HAVE BEEN, when Xigbar knocked on the wall. “Mind if I come in…?” Xigbar asked dryly. Luxord blinked. “Uh… S-Sure!” he cried. He was surprised Xigbar was still talking to him after what had just happened… Xigbar walked in, and gave a sigh. “Remind me to never play strip poker with you again…” he groaned. Luxord smiled sadly. Damn… Well, I knew it would be a once in a lifetime chance… “What happened?” Luxord asked as Xigbar sat down. “I had to pay him not to tell anyone about it…” Xigbar sighed. “WHAT?! Oh no!” Luxord yelped. He blinked, then said after a moment, “Uh, Xiggy…? About that picture—” “Oh yeah… That…” Xigbar took it out of his pocket and held it up for Luxord to see. Luxord stared at it, silent. “Ya know…” Xigbar started, staring down at the picture. “THIS thing caused me so much f[honk]in’ trouble… I don’t know whether to burn it, or to flush it down the toilet, or—” “I’ll take care of it,” Luxord cut in. Xigbar looked back at him. “You would?” “Sure. What are friends for…?” Xigbar handed it to him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right…” He grinned and stood up. “Good luck with that! Just don’t throw it away – someone could find it in the trash.” Luxord nodded. Xigbar gave a short wave. “Sayonara!” he shouted as he walked off. Luxord grinned, looked down at the picture, when Xigbar stop suddenly, and whipped around. “Oh, wait! I almost forgot! Luxord, do you have my clothes?” Luxord blinked. “Uh, I put ‘em back in your room while you were gone.” “Really? Thanks, pal!” Luxord watched him carefully as he left this time. As soon as the door closed, he jumped up, and hugged the picture tight to his chest. “Yesssss…!” he whispered happily. “Yes, it’s all MINE!!! At last!” He twirled around a few seconds, grinning like mad, then dashed over to his closet door. Taped on the door was the words, “Smelly, dirty gym shorts – OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!” Glancing around suspiciously, he placed one hand on a section of the wall. It glowed a faint yellow for a moment, then gave way to a little touch pad that popped up. He put in a secret code, and pulled open his right eye. A pale blue beam scanned it, and, finally, the door popped open with slight hissss… Gotta love technology… It was no longer a closet. After months of careful and patient preparation, it had been transformed into the ULTIMATE shrine of Xigbar. On the walls were countless pictures of Xigbar working out or hanging out – even some of him asleep! I’m not going into detail about how he got THOSE… There was also every Xigbar plushy available on the market, with the most expensive and valuable one at the middle of the shrine along with some of Xigbar’s (stolen) possessions. For example, there were a few strands of hair, one of Xigbar’s spare eye patches, Xigbar’s strip poker clothes, etcetera… There were a few candle-shaped lights scattered around – just because Luxord didn’t trust real fire enough with his most valued objects. And there were CERTIANLY no stank gym shorts around… Luxord grinned, breathing deeply. Ahh… This is heaven… He grabbed a roll of see-through tape and carefully walked to the far end of the wall. Such a wonderful picture… I’ll never get rid of it! NEVER! After it was taped on his wall, he got out a dark purple marker, and wrote, “LuXig FOREVER!” on one of the corners. He stared at what he’d written sadly. Ah, if only… He licked his thumb, reached out, and wiped away a little smudge, thinking. He stood there for a while, staring at the picture, when a little smirk fluttered on his face. “Mark my words, Xigbar…” he whispered. “One day you WILL be mine…” He stalked out of the shrine and gently closed the door behind him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O.o; Well, HERE IT IS, FOLKS!! XD; Extreme stalkerness at it's finest! Scary, no? I wonder what would happen if Xigbar found that shrine of him... >3 Or, better yet... Zexion...? >3 Ehhehhehhehhehheh... *evil smirkums* P.S., Luxord was SO staring at Xigbar's butt when he was walking out of the room. XD P.S.S., Looks like Zexxy's got somethin' on Xemnas and Saix... Hmmm... What, oh what could THAT be...? XD P.S.S.S., I hope it wasn't SCREAMINGLY obvious that I have no idea what the rules of poker of any kind are... XD; Lord of the Wings, ~Leah.