These are funny

Unanswered Questions

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?

If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?

Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them?

Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?

And if it is mispelled, how would we know?-AML

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If you are dialing from a touch-tone phone, Why do you call it 'dialing'? -Ziggy


Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?


If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?


Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?


"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?


Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

They are quite funny im still laughing now

 

there are more if you want to see them

 

do you want those answered or are we supposed to just laugh at them?

 

just enjoy the stupidity

 

Okay!

DWL!

 

Wow...you have opened my eyes 0_o. I have seen the light...and it is cheesy.

Sorry, random moment. Seriously, those are hilarious!

 

Post the others i enjoy these kind of questions

 

i know another!

If there is a Jr. Food Mart, where's the Sr. Food Mart?

 

lol I've always loved questions like these ;P

Is it half full? Or half empty?

:D

 

here are some more:

#

Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
#

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
#

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
#

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
#

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
#

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
#

How is it possible to have a civil war?
#

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
#

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
#

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
#

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
#

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
#

Why on Earth, with over 3/4 of our planet covered by water, don't we call it 'ocean'?--Ziggy
#

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
#

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
#

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
#

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?
#

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
#

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
#

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
#

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?
#

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
#

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
#

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
#

What's another word for Thesaurus?--Steven Wright
#

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
#
Why is it that when trasporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?
#
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?*
#
If two wrongs don't make a right, then how come two negatives make a
positive?*

 

omigosh, i laughed on eveyone! mind if i borrow some to tell my friends?

 

those were funny out loud man.keep them coming

 

here are some:

#

Can you get cornered in a round room?
#

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
#

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
#

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
#

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
#

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
#

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
#

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Sayings:
# In Order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.

# Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you--Chinese Proverb

# If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

# Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

# Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

# Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

# The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

# You can't have everything, where would you put it?

# I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

# It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.

# Strangers have the best candy.

# Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!

# Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. -Jack Handy

# There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

# My husband and I divorced over religious reasons. He thought he was G-d and I didn't!

# Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe.

# Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

# A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

# I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met!

# Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back!

# If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

# If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

# I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either.

# When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

# Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.

 

i was nearly on the floor laughing, are there more?