Who the hell

It started with an honest tale about St. Nick giving toys to the unfortunate children. However, the people who witnessed him thought that he was a miracle or an angel of some sort. So they started making up tales to explain how he traveled, how he made toys, etc.

I don't like the stupid reindeer and elves crap. It's just so illogical.

 

I second that

 

http://athf-santa.ytmnd.com/

-replace 'meatwad' with 'Xaldin' xDDDDD-

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train," but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way. the ice had made the globe invariable. Santa Ape did not know where the North Pole was. How could he? He was born before science existed. So he arbitrarily placed his workshop RIGHT HERE, long before they unionized, and Christmas was celebrated at each full Moon in front of a great red ape...

Y'know what? I'll stop there. I'm scaring myself.