This is gonna relate to a HWL thread I'm posting soon, but I want general opinions on the subject too. Lets say, hypothetically, that you have a crush on someone Well they barely know you exist At the most, you've only ever said 'hi' or 'bye' to them You have hardly any common interests But you REALLY like them. ^The common interest thing is what I want answered. Would you change your interests and hobbies so that you can be noticed more by your crush? The obvious answer is no, and I myself am a strong believer in not changing yourself for the likes of others, and if they like you, they will like you for who you are. It just so happens that my crush is a fan of electronic music (i.e. he loves deadmau5), and I on the other hand am quite 'Rock-inclined' if you will. As a result, I have decided to listen to hours worth of deadmau5 so that I have a topic of discussion with my crush. There is a difference, though, between changing yourself and keeping an open mind. I believe that if you're going to start purposely changing your interests for someone, don't let go of the stuff you like. Now then KHV, according to my example, am I right in what I have done? Have you ever done this? What is your opinion on this whole thing?
I have kind of forced myself to like things so that I will have topics to talk about, or just lied about liking it completely. It's gotten to the point where I've completely made up this image of myself that is nothing how I am just so I could impress a guy. I am not sure if that is what you're asking, but yeah, lol. I would never do it again, because it's really hard to put on a different persona. I think being different from a person is much better than having interests, and if you are really desperate to find a common interest, I am sure there will be something there, just not the major things (music, sports, etc).I was watching Degrassi the other day, and this girl ended up getting baptized so that a boy would be with her. A bit drastic for someone to do, but from going to not believing in a god to suddenly believing in one shouldn't have to cross someone's mind just for another person to like them. Realizing it's just a TV show, it's whatever, but that doesn't stop the fact that people change for another person to like them, when in reality you shouldn't have to change and if that person doesn't like you for who you are, they might not be worth it.Answering your question, you haven't done anything wrong, unless you don't like the music? If you're forcing yourself to listen to the music, you shouldn't have to and you should probably stop. There are so many other things in the world to talk about, rather than talking about music that you don't even like. If you did happen to like it, then that's great. You aren't changing yourself, because you found out you like something you had never heard before.You just shouldn't have to force yourself to like something just to impress someone.
I would try to get invovled with their activities and better get to know them really. Heck, I might even relate to them better. I think that likes and dislikes are only so much. The love of each other is what builds and grows the relationship, to keep it strong.
It depends on the change. If the change is something that that stops me from doing destructive, then yes, I would be willing. Otherwise, no. If someone wants you to change your personality, they don't really care about you.
Why bother? They want me to change then they don't want to be with who I am, you go with someone and all faults, you don't go with someone who you can mould into the perfect partner. I'd never ask anyone to do something they don't inherently want to do themselves, because it goes against their character and that isn't fair.
I've learned that you can't change for someone, because it ends up making you hate yourself, and I wouldn't want anyone changing for me.it makes everyone miserable in the long run, especially in relationships, because then the relationship becomes forced or fake, and it's just not worth it, as much as you may want to change. If you want someone to speak to you, approach them yourself and just say hello. Don't start liking things they do in the hopes of them finding you cool. Odds are, whether you like stuff they do or not, they'll still like/dislike you based on their impression of your looks/personality.
I think that keeping an open mind and taking an interest in something is nothing to be ashamed of. Especially if you still stay true to the stuff you love. But if you have to lie and then force a bunch of music or whatever on yourself that you wouldn't or don't like just so that a guy/girl will like you, its not worth it. I dated who made me listen to a bunch of music I NEVER would've listened to on my own, which was fine, because I ended up liking it, but he hated the kind of music I did like, so I deleted all of it from my mp3, started only watching the type of movies HE liked, etc. That was bad because now I realize I would've been okay if I had been honest with him, and I wouldn't have had to put myself down for liking the stuff that I liked. I don't know how this turned into a post about me, but I hope it helps. Or whatever.
It depends on what kind of changing I would have to do. If they were asking me to become a drug addict, then I wouldn't because I don't believe in doing drugs of any sort - even though saying that makes me a bit of a hypocrite. Now, were they asking me to change for the better, then I might consider it, depending on what they were asking of me.
It depends. Is it something I could be genuinely interested in? For example, say I like anime and the other person plays video games that I've never heard of. I might research those games and see if they interest me. If it's something like "Zombie Death Horror 2", I probably won't be interested, and I'll try to find something else that they like that I like. But if it's something I could be interested in, like "Lollipop Chainsaw", I would probably get interested in that so I could discuss it with him later. In your case, you should listen to the music he likes and see if it genuinely interests you. If you hate, don't try to pretend you love it. It'll only backfire later. But if you like it, you can add it to your own interests and have something to start a conversation. And who knows - after some conversation, you might find things in common you had never even thought about!
+1 for depends. If you're looking for a common interest, it doesn't hurt to try something you normally wouldn't, simply because you may end up genuinely liking it in the end. But if the person requires you to be a certain way, like a certain thing, or be apart of a certain religion in order to be involved with you, then perhaps you're just not right for each other. But we're always growing and changing, as humans. Part of that has to do with the people we surround ourselves with--we just need to try to stay true to ourselves, rather than some hive mind, and not fall into destructive tendencies.
pulling from my personal experience i have tried changing myself to get closer to my crush and it took me ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. it took me a while but after a few hard experiences ive come to realize staying true to yourself is what it means to be truly happy.
Well it all really depends. Changing yourself is not an easy feat even with love being your fuel. But as you said, you decided to listen to some music that he admires. That isn't changing who you are, that's just embracing some of his likes and dislikes to see if they match up with your emotions and such. You haven't done anything wrong, you are trying new things. but, one should not change their personality just because they have googly eyes for another person. If it is true love, then they will love you for you and not what you became.
As it's been said already, it depends. I don't think I've ever changed my interests just to get the person I liked to notice me. And strangely enough those that had a crush on me had the same interests as me yet I never liked them. <_< It's completely different if a person chooses to change themselves drastically. Like what they wear, how they act, etc. What you've done is perfectly fine. You're keeping an open mind, but as it's also been said, if you end up hating it, don't pretend to be completely in love with it. It's better to just know what it is if the topic comes up than to not know and appear close minded.
don't change yourself be yourself. if you both like different things then figure something out that's what relationship are for, liking others for themselves. you can try to do the things he's doing but don't force yourself if you hate it he'll understand and if he don't he's not the right person for you
Why even try? To be honest yes, I admit that I actually did try to change myself. But I know now that's it's impossible. Its really impossible to change yourself. So even if you do want to change yourself it's impossible to do it.
Honestly, the most I would do is have an open mind to try and allow myself to try some of the hobbies or interests of the said crush. Though to begin with, I don't normally like people unless they share some of my interests. There's no way I would give up the things I like to be with someone. If they don't like the things I do then we shouldn't be together. Just like a friend. If a friend can't support your decisions in life, they aren't really a friend. Boyfriends/girlfriends should support your choices, likes, and dislikes. Lots of loving couples have opposite views and opinions on things and, as said, are loving couples.
