I am trying this again.Comment Please I'd appreciate it.I acidentally double posted this so don't get mad <3 SORRY Chapter One. I coughed as I walked up onto to the podium,which overlooked the whole entire classroom. I took a deep breathe and started to read the words imprinted on my peice of looseleaf. I tried not to talk to fast, skipped words 'like' and 'um'.I pronouned each word clearly and tried to make eye contact with my classmates and their parents and/or guardians. "The story I wrote for you today is called Kingdom Hearts. I dedicate this story to my Grandmother who sadly cannot join us today." I looked up at the classroom full of families and stuttered out the words.I stared at my empty seat as tried to finish reading. My father gave an incouraging grin and thumbs up. "So, here's some background on the story before we get into the plot...There's this boy..Named Sora.He lives on an island called Destiny Islands with his two best friends, Riku and Kairi.They want to escape the island more than anything else!They want to see all the other worlds out there." A laughing sound. " 'Cause I've always wanted to travel to Pluto." a boy said stupidly. " Pluto isn't a planet smart ass." I yelled out into the huge bunch of kids. I wondered why everyone was so hell-bent on trying to humilate others. The disgusting smell of the podium was filling my nostils so I decided to get a move on. I feel like throwing up already, I don't need a podium to show me someone else who did already."Now to continue..." **** I finished off my story and sat down as Christina went up to share her's. I heard alot of 'good jobs' and 'nice going'. I was proud of myself, something I'd not been in awhile. My Dad and Mom hugged me after everyone left the classroom. I smiled. Kingdom Hearts was a hole in one. **** I fixed my hair and headed to bed brainstorming new ideas about Kingdom Hearts becoming a 'New York Times Best Seller' or something. I would be made.Enough money to live a great life . But of coarse I was overlooking a major road block. I would still have to finish school. I dosed off into a dream and before I knew it I was looking at a piece of crumb cake and a cold glass of orange juice on Saturday morning. I knew it was a good day somehow. I had good feelings. I rushed up to the computer and signed on Myspace and Facebook. A bunch of comments and notifications congratulating me, and one chain letter with a picture of Linda Blair; the Exorcist, "Yeah okay eat me.Whatever." I sighed. I hoped fame would stike me soon. Then out of completely no where I saw an ad that said: NEW WRITERS; Want to be a NEW YORK TIME BEST SELLER OR SOMETHING?! Then come to the address below, and we'll try to make your dreams become REALITY. "So cheesy." I exited the browser. I walked down the stairs and stumbled upon my notebook.Literally. As I got up, I got an idea. I rushed to find a pencil and eraser. I opened my notebook and started to draw all the characters as I had described them. "Spiky brown hair,blue eyes...Hey,I'm not half bad." As I drew and drew I started to really realize. Kingdom Hearts will win your heart. __________________
Only one other comment? We'll have to fix that xD I liked this writing a lot more than your others. I wasn't too sure at the beginning, but I did get into it by the end. It's a cool idea, a normal person writing up KH =).
Just one more thing: Normally, people don't use double space for stuff like this. I can see why it works in this case, but for story writing in general, people use spacing like this. And then, between paragraphs, they have an open line, like I'm doing now. Just something for you to consider for your other writings =).
