You are now an Abnormally Small High School Girl.

>Go to the Brothel in search of some broth

 

You enter the brothel, but find no broth. The man at the counter offers you a very enjoyable night at his establishment though. You are currently Extremely Sexually Aroused. Accept his offer?

NOTE: The Author is tired. Only the next five commands will be accepted into the console. Until tomorrow, dear readers.

 

>Accept and kindly smile.

 

>Do a clumsy striptease

 

And fall over.

 

Decline his offer, slap him, and then check out any other models that are around.

 

You consider violently declining his offer, but a strong force compels you to stay anyway. You strip far too sexily to be described on a children's forum before dropping to floor from atop your pole, unconscious. When you come to, you find that your Extreme Sexual Arousal is cured.

Now, where to go next?

Move>_

 

>The general store to see if they have canadian bacon

 

You enter the general store to find that there is a 75% off sale on Canadian bacon!
But you don't have any money at the moment. SIGH.

 

>Rob the general store of money

>Buy the bacon no matter what

 

Otherwise act all innocent, until the store keeper falls for your girlish carm and buys bacon for you.

 

Robbing the store was surprisingly easy due to a sales bug. You continually sell the --------- in your inventory until you have exactly enough Curs to buy the Canadian bacon.

Canadian bacon added to Inventory.


Update Alert!
Changelog:
Fixed empty inventory sales exploit.

My my, what an odd message. You feel as though the world has changed around you, yet you can't really tell how. Shrugging it off, you exit the store.

Move>_

 

>Check out Vaguely Familiar House

 

The above.

 

After finishing up your various shenanigans around town, you decide that it is time for some plot advancement, whatever that is. You enter the Vaguely Familiar House to find a completely empty room, save for a shadowy figure. Upon approaching him, you find that he is your dear uncle, What?.

What?: Carrie! What are you doing all the way up here? Your parents down in Florida must be worried sick!

What in the world happened last night?

Before you get the chance to voice this inquiry, your uncle mutters something under his breath and a table appears in between the two of you.

What?: Well since you are here, I suppose I shall have to prepare some hot tea. No use in a visitor from so far south getting cold in my dwelling.

Your apparently rather eccentric uncle goes to a different room.

Carrie Arena Jones>_

 

> Wait for What? to return with HOT TEA.

 

>Inspect the table's origins while waiting for What?

 

Stalk your uncle and discover why he left.

 

Drink ALL the tea.

No but seriously, wait for Uncle What? to return, drink some tea, then get information from him as to what happened last night.

 

Give What? a big hug.
And drink lots and lots of tea.