Zexion's memories chapter 1

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Sce13, Apr 24, 2007.


Sorry for breaking the rules, but Do you like my new story, Zexion's Memories?

  1. Quick answer: YES

  2. Quick Answer: NO

    0 vote(s)
  3. Too much Detail

  4. Not enough

    0 vote(s)

  1. Sce13 Banned

    Jan 28, 2007
    In darkness, with Riku
    Sorry if I broke the rules:( ... but I'm just so used to posting polls.

    Zexion’s Memories…

    Zexion sadly woke up to a horrifying scream… in the middle of the night


    He quickly shot up… He looked around his white bedroom…He heard it again.

    “AHHHHHHHHHHHH”…Just as eerie as the first one…He slowly got up…walking towards his bedroom door. Another scream shot through his ears.


    He had heard the scream somewhere once…but where?

    “Hello?” Zexion asked.
    He heard crying…IT sounded like a small child…He opened his door all the way… No one was there…
    “Hello…Is anyone there?” he asked. He took another look around…He pushed his medium silver hair out of his face so he could try to see, though it was hard because all his hair was flipped to the side.
    “Hello?” he asked again. He looked around once more before heading back into the silent room.
    “Maybe…this is just a dream…I will wake up once I prove it…” he said while walking back into his room. He lied back on his bed… He knew this was no dream… He seemed restless… He couldn’t go back to sleep…He tossed and turned until his arms were numb from moving about… He sat back up, turned on his lamp, and started to reach for his book…

    “AHHHHHHHHHH”… Zexion dropped his book in fright. He ran up and busted the doors down… He saw a small child…a girl…she had her arms wrapped around her knees, and her head down, in the formation of a ball. She was wearing a purple long dress, with her hair in 2 Chinese buns, with her bangs hanging down. She sat in the middle of the hallway a few yards away from Zexion’s door.
    Zexion closely walked towards her… He couldn’t see her face. She had silver hair, but quickly changed to snow white once the morning sun cast upon her…
    Zexion stared. He looked at her startled. Zexion recognized the child immediately.
    “Tri---Trixie?” he asked. He was scared…She was supposed to be dead. The small girl looked up and smiled…Her eyes bluer than the sea…Aqua to be exact. She slowly stood up.
    “I’m here for you…Don’t be scared…” she said with big sad eyes, and barley sticking her hand out for it to be held. His eyes filled with shock…and his hands shaking more than the leaves on a windy day. Zexion tried the fact that this was a dream… He ran back into his room, and shut the door behind him…
    “This isn’t real! This isn’t real!” he repeated. He ran on the bed and closed his eyes… He soon fell asleep.

    “WAKE UP SLEEPLY HEAD!” he heard Axel screaming at him…Zexion just lied there with his eyes closed.
    “He’s been like this all day…” he heard Roxas say.
    “Here…this’ll do the trick!” Demyx said… Demyx got out his sitar and started strumming it. Quick as lighting, a big downpour came upon his bed… Zexion’s eyes were closed, but he started choking…
    “Demyx turn it off!” Axel yelled. Roxas and Axel both lifted up Zexion to sit up, who was coughing and choking at the same time… His eyes slowly opened.
    “You okay there spell boy?” Axel asked.
    “Yeah…*cough*… What’s going on?” he asked.
    “It’s 3 o’clock Zexion…We were scared you wouldn’t get up…” Demyx said dispersing his sitar.
    “Did any of you *cough* hear a scream?” Zexion asked.
    “From you?” Roxas asked.
    “No…*cough* in the middle of the night *cough*!” Zexion said.
    Axel and Roxas looked at each other…
    “We didn’t hear anything…” Demyx said.
    “But…I heard…screaming…and Trixie!” Zexion yelled as he stood up.
    “Who’s Trixie?” Axel asked.
    “Hmm? Oh! Uh…No one important…” Zexion said stuttering…
    “We better hurry downstairs! Xemnas was tired of waiting, so he already sent the 7 and his self back to the Mishiniuse Training School… Axel explained
    “Why don’t they take Demyx?” Roxas complained.
    “The same reason they won’t take you!” Axel said.
    “Because I’m soooo good?” Roxas asked.
    “No…because you are too…never mind,” Axel said.
    “Hey! I resent that!” Demyx yelled.
    “WILL YOU 3 PLEASE GET OUT OF MY ROOM?” Zexion yelled.
    “Sheesh! What’s up your butt this morning?” Axel asked.
    “My fist will go up yours if you don’t get outta here,” Zexion’s hand holding up his fist in Axel’s face.
    “Whatever…” Axel said teasingly… He and the others walked out… Zexion walked back over to his bed and pulled out his, “Question and Answer” book… *like Tom Riddles book in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets*... Only in this book, he talks to his master, whom is dead, and her soul…in the booklet.

    “Master Kahunia!” he writes while saying out loud.
    “What is it, my start pupil?” she writes back as he reads aloud…
    “I think I am going crazy…Can you tell me?” he writes again while saying it out loud.
    “You are not crazy…just misunderstood…Follow your memories, and unleash your past…there you will find your answers…” she wrote back… Zexion read aloud once more, nodded, and closed his book…
    “My memories brought Trixie back?” he asked.
    Zexion walked up and opened the door but hit something…
    “OWW!” the person yelled.
    “ROXAS!?” Zexion yelled. He saw Roxas by the door sitting down…
    “Hehe…” he stated while closing his eyes, grinning, and putting one hand behind his head…
    “Did you hear anything?” Zexion asked as he grabbed Roxas’s collar and pulled him up into the air…
    “Yes!” he admitted, “Who is Trixie?” he asked.
    Zexion put Roxas down on the floor and pushed his self to put his head down and close his eyes.
    “Trixie…was my sister…” he said sadly.
    “Was?” Roxas asked.
    “She died…” Zexion said while opening his eyes and looking at Roxas with a steady face. Zexion tried not to cry... he held back his tears…
    “How did she die?” Roxas asked.
    “WHAT DO YOU CARE?” Zexion asked madly.
    “No need to yell at me Zexion…I care because I want to know what’s been up with you lately…You’ve changed...” Roxas said putting his arms out in front of him…
    Zexion stared at him…but couldn’t help but drop a single tear…
    “Oh…Okay Zexion…I’m sorry!” Roxas said…
    “No…It’s not your fault…She died because she was Siren…” he said…
    Roxas looked confusingly…
    “You DO know what a siren is?” Zexion asked. Roxas clear as day shook his head no…
    “She would lure people to her grasp using her vocals to get attention…any boy within her reach would be trapped…other than me and my father…” Zexion stated.
    “Oh…I’m sorry about that,” Roxas said…
    “I think…I saw her last night…When the sun doesn’t touch her hair…it is as silver as my hair…but when it does…it is as white as snow…” Zexion described
    “What color eyes?” he asked… Zexion stared at Roxas…
    “Bluer…than the sea itself…” he answered.
    “Aqua?” Roxas asked. Zexion nodded.
    Axel walked up the stairs with Demyx…
    “Don’t get mad but…we kind of overheard you two talking…” Axel said while walking behind him.
    “Well…you would’ve found out sooner or later…” Zexion said… Once Zexion grinned at them… a loud whirring noise sprung through his head. Zexion closed his eyes and kept them SHUT.
    “Ahh!” he yelled silently while putting his hands on his fore head.
    “Zexion…you okay?” Axel asked. Zexion sadly shook his head no.
    “Do you need help?” Demyx asked.
    “AHH!” Zexion yelled as he put both hands on his head.
    “ZEXION!” Roxas yelled. Zexion fell backwards into Axel…but he quickly caught him…
    “Zexion!” Demyx yelled. Axel gently placed him on the floor…
    Zexion yelling out in pain every few moments…He would be jumpy and wouldn’t stay still.
    “AHHHH!” he yelled.
    “I’m here for you,” Trixie said while standing in front of Zexion in front of the ocean.
    *end flashback*
    “ZEXION WHAT’S WRONG?” Axel yelled.
    “Don’t worry…” Trixie said in the same spot.
    *end flashback*
    “ZEXION!” Roxas yelled.
    “TRIXIE!” Zexion yelled.
    *Flash back*
    Trixie was standing in the shallow water, holding Zexion’s hand.
    “I know your scared of the water Zexion, but…” she started. Zexion was 14 at the time and Trixie was 10…
    “I’ll protect you,” she whispered in his ear…
    *End Flash back…*

    “I’ll protect you too!” Zexion yelled before passing out…He blacked out the rest…All he could remember was…

    “I’ll protect you…”

    Well…what do you think? It took me 15 minutes to write! Not bad!
  2. Soushirei 運命の欠片

    Feb 22, 2007
    Toronto, Canada
    Posting a poll when you're fully aware that you'd be breaking the rules?

    I'm sorry, but I find that unacceptable. If you keep this up, I will really have a talk with the staff about you. There is no excuse for this.

    As for your story; like I already mentioned to you in a previous work, you concentrate too much on dialogue and your narration/exposition is at its bare minimum--and there are grammar mistakes all throughout this. To be frank, it was a cognitive roller coaster trying to gain a sense of direction with this fic.
  3. ThunderOfLarxene Gummi Ship Junkie

    Apr 2, 2007
    Castle Oblivion
    i quite liked this story *waits for next chapter*

    hmm. Good story. But you can get in a lot of trouble because soo many people complained about the polls.

    -700th Post YAY!-
  5. NeoJecht Twilight Town Denizen

    Oct 27, 2006
    On the Edge of the Empire
    well whos complaining about him putting up polls?:confused:
  6. Sce13 Banned

    Jan 28, 2007
    In darkness, with Riku

    okay, for one thing, I'm a girl....
  7. RRMS Gummi Ship Junkie

    Apr 18, 2007
    In a random empty void |D ~♥
    can u make another 1??? this story...ROX MY SOX!!!:D
    (Rox my sox means thats the best thing in the world....i only say it to the best of the best):D