well i did notice it reapeated its self but i think it was interesting, next time try to make it a little longer
the way you wrote it wasn't very complex; it was actually a little poetic. except for the repeat (and the fact that i don't really like kairi so much XO), i thought it was nice without having to go through paragraphs of description. i'd try for next time, if you're continuing this, to add in a little more detail and emotion. i'd check back again to read a bit. ;3
Okay! I usually do short bitts, because I don't know if people want to read long story bitts. But, I guess they do! ^^ I will update soon! Okay, I'll update it soon! Thankyou soooo much for reading! YES! Second book! *cough,clickherebecauseIamdesperate,cough* there are three stories I'm writing, and they all have to do with eachother. Meaning, they have the same OC characters, and stuff.:D Thankyou SOOOOO much for reading and commenting! *hugs* Yeah, I'm trying to get smoother on my writing, guess this was too smooth. Not solid enough. My writing style's not the best. DX That's something I need to work on. THANKYOU FOR READING AND COMMENTING!:p :D *gives you a cookie with a little "Thankyou" made out of chocolate chips* XD I messed up. I was wondering why it was so long! I clicked "Paste" twice I guess. Darn that repeat! *shakes fist in the air* Thankyou so much!:D :) :p :D *hugs*
YAY!!!!!!!!!! Mouth to mouth *mutters something about how it wasnt mouth to mouth it was a kiss* I think is good! Little more descrtiption (but who am i too critique, mine is non detail nation) and u'll be good to go!:D
Let me tell you, that is hard! O.o but with the Namine thing on "Broken" you rock at it! *Is envious of your talent* Well, first it was mouth to mouth, but when Sora got up, Kairi kissed him! XD Yeah, I'm having a hard time with detail, darn it. THANKYOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING!
XD! OMG. Wait til I start playing Scrooge McDuck and the triplets, Huey, Duey, and Louie. They're fun to play! I don't really remember much about the triplets though, so little things like, which color they are, etc, sorta mess me up. The only reason I can do them at all is because I used to watch that show when I was little.
XD XD All I watched of The triplets is a holloween specail, I think. Donald always tries to play tricks on The triplets, and they get him back hard. XD It's so funny! "Where's uncle Donald?" And then they come out of the graves "You scared us to death!" I'm trying to write the next part of my character .. .
Yay! This is probably off-topic and very spammy...but I got my Zexion to join us in our roleplay~! *dances* Oh, and I don't think I remember that halloween special x_. I do remember some of the movi--DUCKTALES! That's what the show was called! XD I remembered! ...and now I have the themesong stuck in my head ._.;
Oh, It was house of Mouse: House of Villains! Oh, on house of Mouse, they are the rock band! Cool! I'll check out the RP!
