Kingdom Hearts II Yen Sid's Poor Sentence Structure.

I know this is late for me to post, but I've learned of this for a while, and I'm totally bored.

If you remember when Sora and the gang "meet" Yen Sid for the "first" time, (Gotta be carful due to BBS) And Donald is turned into a heartless, and Yen Sid says, "If one such as you Donald yields to the darkness in their heart, They to will become a Heartless. But you know this."

Yea I know what you were supposed to say was, "If one such as you Donald yields to the darkness in your heart, you to will become a Heartless. But you know this."

Tell me Square, I've seen graphic errors, I've seen two Kairis, and I've even seen a creepy/angry donald face at an inappropriate time, but how in the world do you screw up a sentence and not fix it? This is why young Americans are becoming impaired in English class.

 

I believe that's correct.

If I recall correctly, he wasn't talking about Donald's darkness, but the darkness from the Heartless.

 

Well, it's a pretty common grammatical error. I really don't even know what the proper way would be, I always confuse my subjects when using 'one' or 'you'. But you're allowed leeway with dialogue; normal people don't speak perfect English, and nor should your characters. It's more natural that way.

 

I suppose, but even saying that sentence out loud sounds weird. I think if they didn't add, "If one such as you Donald....." then the sentence to me would make more sense. But those first words make Donald the subject. So why would mention him but have the sentence derail off referencing heartless that have no hearts, or a group of anonymous people who lose their hearts to the darkness?

Am I making my point clear, or have I confused you?

 

I'm a bit confused, haha. But Donald is not the subject, 'one' is.
If one such as you, Donald, yields to the darkness in their heart, they...

I believe that it should properly be:
If one such as you, Donald, yields to the darkness in his heart, he...

Because 'they' and 'their' are plural. However, with our politically correct age, it's customary to remove gender bias when speaking. 'Her' can be technically used so long as it remains consistent.

That's what I recall, I could be wrong. I'll have to reference The Elements of Style.

 

Oh, you may be right. Something about though still screams it's wrong. Maybe it's the last part of the sentence that's really throwing me.

Ah well, here I thought I found another error in the KH series. Guess I'll have to keep looking.

 

Actually, just checked! It should be, I believe:
If one such as you, Donald, yields to the darkness in one's heart, that person will become a Heartless.

Although the 'Donald' there may throw it off? asdfghjkl; grammar
I think this might be being overly nitpicky, haha. Square is bound to make errors.

 

Misty was on the right track, I think it is conversationally right. The phrase is "If one such as you..." So that is talking about any individual in a group that includes Donald. Technically he should have said "If one such as you, Donald, yields to the darkness in his or her heart, he or she too will become a Heartless. But you know this." But few people will actually do that in live speech. It is more common to assign a male gender (especially since it included a male as an example) or to pluralize it to make it gender neutral.

EDIT: I think that works too. I was writing my post before that.

 

Whoa I never noticed that
Good eye or should I say ear or is their subtext....?
I've confused myself.

 

Ah, that makes more sense. Verbal communication v.s text. I see now. Thank you all for your input.

 

it's not that it was poor sentence structure, it was just that you had to really pay attention to what he was saying. I was playing this yesterday, and I was listening and noticed he said that, and I noticed he was just using Donal as an example of one person, but he was talking about everyone who would yield to the darkness in their heart

 

It's correct, actually.

He was trying to say that if someone like Donald yielded to their darkness, they'd also become a Heartless.
He was avoiding being sexist by saying they

"If one [i.e. someone] such as Donald [who is a good person but doesn't possess a heart totally free of darkness] yields to the darkness in their [not there or they're, this is the correct word to use in this case] heart, they [avoiding specifics and just being general] too will become a Heartless."

See? It's correct, at least how I see it.
Also, that's just the way Yen Sid talks. He also sounds pretty wise when you hear that kind of sentence structure from him.

 

The problem here is that "one" is a singular subject, while "their" is a plural possessive. In modern speech/vernacular it can be used to replace he or she, but this is not technically correct. Because it is so awkward to use "he or she," it is also commonly accepted to use "they" in its place.

Spoiler: excerpt from the Elements of Style

One. In the sense of "a person," not to be followed by his or her.

Example #1: Incorrect
One must watch his step.
Example #1: Correct
One must watch one's step.​

They. He or She. Do not use they when the antecedent is a distributive expression such as each, each one, everybody, every one, many a man. Use the singular pronoun.

Example #1: Incorrect
Every one of us knows they are fallible.
Example #1: Correct
Every one of us knows he is fallible.

Example #2: Incorrect
Everyone in the community, whether they are a member of the Association or not, is invited to attend.
Example #2: Correct
Everyone in the community, whether he is a member of the Association or not, is invited to attend.​

A similar fault is the use of the plural pronoun with the antecedent anybody, somebody, someone, the intention being either to avoid the awkward he or she or to avoid committing oneself to one or the other. Some bashful speakers even say, "A friend of mine told me that they..."
The use of a he as a pronoun for nouns embracing both genders is a simple, practical convention rooted in the beginnings of the English language. Currently, however, many writers find the use of the generic he or his rto rename indefinite antecedents limiting or offensive. Substituting he or she in its place is the logical thing to do if it works. But it often doesn't work, if only because repetition makes it sound boring or silly. Consider these strategies to avoid an awkward overuse of he or she or an unintentional emphasis on the masculine:
Use the plural rather than the singular.
Eliminate the pronoun altogether.

It's very difficult to say, lol. While I think Cat is right colloquially, I do think that "one's" is the proper possessive.

 

I've never noticed this before, it does sound a bit odd.
I dont know what the correct way to say it would be.

 

I've seen grammar errors in KH, I cannot remember which scene it was but it was with Larxene, and she said "you have to go throw me instead" of through; lol It was something like that but it was in ReCoM ^^'. Haven't seen this one though

 

Actually it's--

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

"One/one's" would work better, "he/his" is technically correct, but I believe "they/their" is also acceptable in casual speech. Yen Sid knows how to talk >:L

Interestingly, I have heard that many universities and publications are now using female pronouns as the default instead of male ones. I guess to counterbalance the years of ostensible male oppression rofl. But that would just sound silly, especially after having just made reference to Donald.